EatMe: Green Forest

655 Rodi Road, Penn Hills, (412) 371-5560

Green Forest is a "Brazilian Restaurant." There is nothing that particularly reminds me of Brazil, and having never been to Brazil, or any other Brazilian restaurants, I really can't say if they are authentic, or anything else. But if this is typical Brazilian food, I want to go to Brazil. What they are is a "Meat Restaurant." You sit down, and they explain that you can either have the salad bar at about $15, (its a good salad bar, but not that good) or you can have the salad bar and the all you can eat meat for about $20. After you wander over to the salad bar, (get some fiber in your system, trust me, you'll be happy for it later) you turn over the "meat signal" (it is an object about the size and shape of a large salt shaker, painted green on one side, and red on the other) to signal that you are hungry), and the waiters start coming by with meat. Men in green suits ask you in a voice barely above a whisper, "Would you like some bacon?", and a slice of bacon, which is attatched to a large knife, appears on your plate. Immediately behind him, another man asks you if you would like some beef, and he slices off a chunk for you. After a while your plate is filling faster than you can eat, and you turn over the signal again so you can have some peace and quiet while you clean off your plate. Repeat until full. They have on the order of 20 different types of meat (cuts of the same animal, I think I only had 3 different animals while I was there) and none of it is very exotic (no heart, no liver). The meat is very good, slightly salty, but they are very good about drink refills. Large parties are welcome (I was there with 6, but there was a party of 20 on the other side of the room). Of note, dessert is not included in the all you can eat, and desserts aren't cheap, but they are good. Green Forest is located past Monroeville (655 Rodi Rd, Penn Hills. 412.371.5560), and I don't know of a good way to get there that involves a bus. However, if the only way to get there was on foot, I'd probably still be willing to go, partly because it would be the only way I'd get enough exercise to justify that much food.

In the grand tradition of providing you with news you can use, readme presents a helpful guide to the worth of your body. So if you ever find yourself in a job interview and the interviewer asks, "How much do you think you’re worth?", you’ll know. Similarly, if you ever have to put out a bounty on someone’s head, don’t pay more than about $8,100. It’s also useful if you ever wake up in a bathtub full of ice with both kidneys gone - hope they got at least $60,000. But if you work at a fast food restaurant, you top out at about five bucks an hour. Maybe you should just sell your soul instead. Model credit: Guido Zarrella

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The Twinkie: Guido Zarrella The Creamy Filling: Daisy Church, Becky Clutter, Elias Del Real, Matt Denton, Shion Deysarkar, Colleen Gault, Alisa Grishman, Karari Hanks, John Eric Hoffmann, Marcin Jeske, Jeff Knupp, Muffin, Ed Latimer, Brian Levinthal, Nathan Los, Nat Manista, Nick Marino, Mary Mcashen, Fred Merkle, Leah Messina, Kevin Milans, Ko Nakatsu, Mike Rankin, Alex Schimel, Alana Schmidt, Arvonn Tully, Christy Sawyer, Megan Sawyer, Larissa Schyrokyj, Dana Vinson, Oliver Wojtyna, Fred Zeleny.