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| 2005-2006 Quotes: | Back to Archives |
8/7/05
"Beast, bird, fish, BIRD!"
"Canoe?"
"I want more money. I want more money. I want more money."
(Rhyming couplets, scenario: whale in a tank)
"I think more crunking will break the glass."
"Then he will come out here and kick my ass!"
"I figure I'd let you die 1st and roll around in your lard."
"When you put tacks on teacher's chair, you have to post-it note the room."
"Why did you have to pick the Great Hall as you classroom?!"
9/18/05
"Aw, I'm sorry honey, you're too short to ride the roller coaster"
"That just makes me wanna take steriods!"
"Ever since that machine took off my fingers all I can do is...use my left hand."
(In Do Run Run)
"I met him on a Friday and his name was Rick"
"I know what you're thinkin' but I'm gonna say 'brick'"
"Oh my gosh, this is so sucks!"
"I'm going to sacrifice you to Bagels!"
9/25/05
"These are known as tasty tire, but can also be known as sleepy tires."
"Did you barf? It smells kind of barfy."
"Your epidermus does noaarough!!!!!!!!!!"
"Tabloids? I'd rather do Shakespeare"
"What's the best way to get out of a building?"
"Jump"
"What's you stance on gay marriage?"
"Yuuuuuuuuuumm...?"
"My mother made me too!"
"I've been thinking about your mother a lot lately..."
"Who's this guy?"
"I don't know, he's my boyfriend!"
"If you use all 3 legs, not only will you get the day off, you will get several days off."
10/2/05
"what duplicity is this, sir?!"
"Goddamn it! Put the furby DOWN! Where is my leg? WHERE is my LEG?!"
"I found my leg you sonofabitch! I haven't seen it since 3rd period!"
Josh spelled chivalrous like this: "chivilress"
"These petunias don't grow out of liberty!"
"I'm not looking for answers; I'm looking for excuses."
"Tim, he's so tolerant!"
"I'm in his belly!"
"Let's not talk to him, because he's not tolerant"
"WoooOOOOooOOOo! I am the ghost of your hand's past..."
and then
"I dropped it. i can't hold material objects"
"Chalk-co writes on anything!"
"I wrote all over my face!"
"Good, now we can bang!"
"Your training as a lumberjack will not be complete until you've done it."
"Soul tastes liek happy!"
"I'm gonna go punish myself to sleep"
"That's my boy!"
10/5/05
"So when i said i needed to borrow a dollar, I didn't mean from myself."
"not a pickle, mopre of a hot cake."
"My god, I seem to have lost my codpiece"
"What are you going to do? Solve this rubic's cube?"
"It was an emtire semi-fallout of cauliflower"
"It's okay, my name is josh hailpern"
10/9/05
"what am i going to buy with my quarters now?!"
"Lick & stick it...back together. Get a taste of what's to come!"
"How can you master their crabful-ness?"
"All I'm sayin' is you're trying to patent the sad face, and somebody might be out to get you."
Jost played a llama named Dave!
10/16/05
"I'm sorry, honey, daddy doesn't like the neighbors too much & sometimes he just needs to hit 'em with somthing." alex grubb
(a judge, holding his fingers in his ears) "Lalalalalala, you're guilty! lalalala." gerrit
"Mmmm-mmm. are you propositionin' me? 'cause i like that." gerrit
"Ma'am, I'm here to service you in any way I can." josh
"The DaVinci Effect: It's liek the Butterfly Effect, but with Leonardo DaVinci" grubb (i think?)
"This body cast from the waist down isn't venting so well." jamie
"I would argue that it is." gerrit
"Zeeeuuuus! You got some 'splainin' to do!" jelin
"She is crazy. She needs to do some drugs." jelin
"Rule # 19: greg shut the fuck up!" josh
"Bond.