COPYRIGHT NOTICE: This page is copyrighted by ME and the signatures are owned by their creators. You MAY NOT copy this page or use it's contents. Use of this page for any purpose other than viewing for entertainment is not allowed and shall encur a fine of no less than $500 and any court costs required. The courts take copyright violations seriously. Think twice.
I hate having to do that, but some people are ignorant, and some are just scum.
NEW! As of June 10, 1999, I'm starting to actually ORGANIZED these into CATEGORIES!
I Want The Drugs You're On
---------------------------------------------------------------------- Stan Brown, Oak Road Systems, Cleveland, Ohio, U.S.A. (216) 371-0043 The opinions expressed are mine. Mine alone! Nobody else is responsible for them or even endorses them--except my cat Dexter, and he signed the power of attorney only under my threat to cut off his Cat Chow! From: browns@iccgcc.decnet.ab.com (Stan Brown, Oak Road Systems) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- jcpatilla jcp@decuac.dec.com Titmouse is coming, the frogs are getting flat! Please put an otter in the old man's hat. If you haven't got an otter then a marmoset will do; if you haven't got a marmoset, then Dog bless you! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: hen3ry@natinst.com (Henry B. Velick) The opinions expressed herein are those of absolutely everyone at National Instruments: the management, staff, stockholders, their spouses, children, dogs, and cats. In fact, everyone in Austin also agrees. No, make that Texas. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Jim Kimble, Internet: jkimble@bally.bally.com Consultant: Have kernel, will travel UUCP: uunet!bally!jkimble "ALPO is 99 cents a can. That's over SEVEN dog dollars!!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Jorge A. Gautier "There are always possibilities." -Mr. Spock jgautier@ads.com Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies when you're having fun. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- .--------* Mike ________________________________ Michael.Marsden | Grad. /| /| /| /| / "..never write device drivers | @ | Student / |/ | /_| /_| \ while on acid!" -MJ Dominus | Uk.Ac.Newcastle |__________/ |/ |/ \__/ *------------------------' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- J.Emmett Black; GE Research/K1-3C26; Schenectady, NY 12345; blackje@crd.ge.com Branches from the nearby foliage, or geological specimens, may fracture my skeletal structure; however, inaccurate descriptions of my physical appearance, heritage or personality, cannot damage my psyche. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- David Grabiner, grabiner@zariski.harvard.edu "We are sorry, but the number you have dialed is imaginary." "Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again." Disclaimer: I speak for no one and no one speaks for me... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Kelly-Erin Powers The MITRE Corporation Unix Systems Group Burlington Road (617) 271-2143 Bedford, MA 01730 kepowers@mbunix.mitre.org linus!mbunix!kepowers "Jack Shit? Yes, I know him. He lives next door." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- whos@ddsw1.MCS.COM | I don't know, who's at DDSW1? | whos@ddsw1.MCS.COM! I asked YOU who's at DDSW1! Ok, there's a guy at DDSW1, right? | Right! Who? | Exactly! | What? | No, he's at lll-winken. | Where? | No, What! | I don't know! | He's at gargoyle. | Who? | No, he's at DDSW1.MCS.COM! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Om Pappa Chucka Mucka Nommo Sing Gow, Ding Gabba Lonna Wannie Gummo Ching Pow. Hebby Gabba Lou-a Comma Gemma Sing Gee, Om Mamma Chucka Manna One Is Now Three. (acquired from Ken Kopin's .sig - aa377@cleveland.freenet.edu) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Don McGregor | "I too seek the light, so long as it tastes mcgredo@prism.cs.orst.edu| great and is not too filling." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- +--------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Robert J. Woodhead, Biar Games / AnimEigo, Incs. trebor@foretune.co.jp | | "The Force. It surrounds us; It enfolds us; It gets us dates on Saturday | | Nights." -- Obi Wan Kenobi, Famous Jedi Knight and Party Animal. | +--------------------------------------------------------------------------+ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Norman Diamond diamond@tkov50.enet.dec.com If this were the company's opinion, I wouldn't be allowed to post it. Permission is granted to feel this signature, but not to look at it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------- | All opinions, all mine, all that. 6600galt@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu | | - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -| | 'The Lord cast Lucifer out of the Kingdom of Heaven, and | | into the fiery pit where he was to remain damned for all | | eternity. And for this Lucifer cursed The Lord and said, | | "I've fallen and I can't get up!"' Ezra, ch 5, verse pi. | ----------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- | | ____ "Fuck _The Well of | | Laughing Cat/Kat Strieby | "Carpe carpum" \\ / Loneliness_! Let's | | Lynx@cup.portal.com | "Seize the fish" \\/ party!" | | | -GIRLJOCK (paraphrase) | ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Yeh, Buddy.. | larry@psl.nmsu.edu (Larry Cunningham)| _~~_ I've got your COMPUTER! | % Physical Science Laboratory | (O)(-) Right HERE!!" | New Mexico State University | /..\ (computer THIS!) | Las Cruces, New Mexico, USA 88003 | () -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are CORRECT, mine, and not PSLs or NMSUs.. The first time I had sex, I was terrified. I was alone.. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael A. Atkinson | "Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for asbestos@nwu.edu | you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup." ** Member, Libertarian ** + All opinions expressed herein are solely + ** Party Illinois ** + those of my friend, Buck the squirrel. + ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------]Elisabeth Anne Riba * lis@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu[--------------- Do not meddle in the affairs | Usenet is like Tetris for people of cats, for they are subtle | who still remember how to read. and will piss on your computer. | So many newsgroups, so little time.. --------------------------------------------------------------------- - dma7@po.CWRU.Edu (Daniel M. Alt) Daniel Alt Case Western Reserve University Cleveland, OH (Rotary Sig File!) There's no plate like chrome, there's no plate like chrome... Anything not nailed down is mine. Anything I can pry loose is not nailed down. At any time, at any place, our snipers can drop you. Have a nice day. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ERIC W. FRITZIUS (aka JUICE S. AARON) | The willow bends down ewf2@Ra.MsState.Edu | Touching the ground in new ways | Plastic Bear Vomit. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Jim Bailey jb@lexicon.com "...that one was good, that one was good, that one was good..." "wadd'ya doin" "testing fuses, that one was good, that one was good..." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- (Daniel R. Sorenson Dod #1066 |If Iowa State University agreed with me ) (z1dan@exnet.iastate.edu -- work |I'd make $90K/yr. They don't, I don't. ) (viking@iastate.edu -- play |"I distinctly remember a kindergarten ) (teacher, Mrs. Zenz, telling us this. I argued with her, and she punished ) (me for speaking out. She's dead now." -- Been Feen ) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Found on a small utility knife in MIT's lab supply: "Caution. Blade is sharp. Keep out of children." -Darren Leigh (dleigh@hplabsz.hpl.hp.com) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- RON BUCKMIRE, 11 Colvin Circle, Troy, NY 12180-3735. vox:(518)-276-8910 fax:(518)-276-6920 buckmr@rpi.edu buckmr@rpitsmts.bitnet "Sure you can get aids from a mosquito -- if you have unprotected anal sex with one!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Nick Rothwell, LFCS, Edinburgh | "We know what to get *you* for nick@dcs.ed.ac.uk | Christmas: a double lobotomy and Mentation Consultancy Services | ten rolls of rubber wallpaper." cassiel@cix.compulink.co.uk | ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dani Zweig dani@netcom.com "One of my favorite games when I was a kid was 'murder/suicide.' Dad would show us a photo and ask us, "Is it a murder or a suicide?" -- Colleen Doran ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ||| | Rob Pinelli |" " -Marcel Marceau | /| / | \ | pinelr@rpi.edu |"Would kids be like veal?" -Calvin & Hobbes | \'o.O' Atari ST| 420 North Hall | DISCLAIMER: Ha! RPI couldn't even *pay* | =(___)= Mega 2 | Troy, NY 12180 | me to advocate their pernicious agenda! | U ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ____ Tim Pierce / "Well, there's homosexuality in all animals \ / twpierce@amherst.edu / but one, and that's the pig. If it weren't \/ (BITnet: TWPIERCE@AMHERST) / for homosexuals we'd all have to live like pigs." -- overheard at Sydney Mardi Gras ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dani Zweig dani@netcom.com Watership Down: You've read the book. You've seen the movie. Now eat the stew! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- * * It's: "SPLAT - MY CAT!" -//-//-_ +>\ --__ Slower than a speeding DATSUN 180B. Much slower. +>/ _------__ Mortally slower, one might say. Rest in Pieces. -\\-\\-- spt@waikato.ac.nz. Fax: 064 7 8384066 * * University of Waikato, Private Bag 3105, Hamilton, NZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Mike Shapiro ms0p@andrew.cmu.edu I don't live in fantasy; I only work there. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Matt Marchese The opinions expressed here are not Cray Research those of my employer, my wife, my church, or DKRZ myself...But they are the opinions of Elvis Hamburg, Germany as revealed to me through the medium of my pet hamster, Lee Harvey Oswald... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- if you want vanilla, you eat the icecream exile@gnu.ai.mit.edu from around the chocolate chips. -/phi (/SIG) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ____/| Bill the Cat says "Vote Dave Barry | Eddie@uncvx1.bitnet alias \ o.O| for President!" Actually, he says,| Eddie@uncvx1.oit.unc.edu =(_)= "ACK! THPHTH!" but we're sure that| "I've changed my mind, Hobbes. U he's a Dave Barry supporter. | People are scum."---Calvin ---------------------------------------------------------------------- | | | | David P. Mikkelson | Just when my ant farm started showing a | | Digital Equipment Corporation | profit, an ant bank foreclosed on it. | | Culver City, CA USA | | | | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------- spt@grace.waikato.ac.nz - Simon P Travaglia Voice: 064 7 8384008 "Hello?" Computer Services, Waikato University, Private Bag 3105, Hamilton, New Zealand -- Elvis Presley is alive and writing my signatures at Waikato University -- Disclaimer: Elvis would agree with me, but he's got dirt in his mouth. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- jack mcbryde@karazm.math.uh.edu * All I ask of Thee, Lord * Christ died for our sins. Dare we * Is to be a drinker and fornicator * make his martyrdom meaningless by * An unbeliever and a sodomite * not committing them? - Jules Feiffer * And then to die. - Claude de Chauvigny ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tom Menner I When you're swimming in the creek Software Engineering Institute I And an eel bites your cheek, Carnegie Mellon University I That's a moray! Pittsburgh, PA I - Fabulous Furry Freak Bros. =============== ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Philip Brown | When an eel bites your thigh Sys Admin Esquire | As you're just swimming by The Mitre Corporation | That's a moray... EMail: phil@mitre.org | -- unknown ---------------------------------------------------------------------- my name is mike and i'm a .sig-a-holic, i have been virtually .sig free for ten days now, my life is so much clearer, i pledge to do my best to never have a long .sig again. i don't need one because i'm good enough, i'm smart enough and god darnit, people like me. ob info: mlsa@lehigh.edu, mike sherman phone# 758-0207 disclaimer, we don't neeeed no steeenking disclaimer. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Matt Rupert Bodyguard/Security Escort R&R Personal Security Service 495 Hickory Ct. #3-B Professional - Reliable (517) 789-5010 24hrs a day It is with deepest regrets we must inform you that you're a weenie. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ****************************************************************************** This .sig may not be reproduced, in whole or in part, by any means, including but not limited to: Mechanical reprints, electronic storage or scanning, theatrical release, musical ballads, word of mouth, sign language, braille, pantomime, hetero- or asexual reproduction, genetic engineering, or inclusion in other .sigs. .SIG (c) 1992 Martin F. Falatic, All rights Reserved falatic@mentor.cc.purdue.edu "What? ME?!? No way!!!" - MacGyver, the birthday reunion episode ****************************************************************************** ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Louise Penberthy | "A lot of people think 'a capella' Dept of CSIS, Kennesaw State | means 'without clothes.'" College, Marietta GA 30061 | louise@pravda.cc.gatech.edu | -- Barry Carl, bass, Rockapella ---------------------------------------------------------------------- In no event will I be liable for any damages, including any lost profits, lost savings, draughts, floods, or other incidental or consequential damages arising out of the use or inability to use this text. Some states do not allow the exclusion of liability for incidental or consequential damages, but heck with them. Check local listings. Void where prohibited. E Pluribus Unum. Be excellent to each other. Party on. SBLILJ@MACALSTR.EDU ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ** Dan Caugherty -- C.S. Dept., Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute ** ** ".Sig, .sig a .sog, .sig out loud, ||----- caugherd@cs.rpi.edu ------- ** ** .sig out .strog ." -- || [ paste statndard disclaimer ** ** Karen Carpenter with a head cold || here.. ] ** ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Jeffrey (George bush) Ooi | Tried a Big Sadist from McWhitehouse? Latrobe University | Two Hussien patties special scud,patriots Australia | sleeze, toma-hawks, inside a sesame seed bomb ---------------------------------------------------------------------- cj@eno.wpd.sgi.com C J Silverio/Brahms Gang/Berkeley CA 94720 "Ted is a sick human being. We shouldn't hate him, we shouldn't make fun of him, we shouldn't treat him as a pariah or a net.idiot--above all, we shouldn't flame him. We should reach out to him as a brother, with love and compassion, and operate on his brain." -- Gene Ward Smith ---------------------------------------------------------------------- __ | The post you have just read is real, but it could \\/ | have been avoided. Inbreeding is every-one's Elf Sternberg | problem. Contact your local Mormon church to be elf@halcyon.com | sure you aren't marrying a close relative. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- sig's are neat|John Grossi|qasama@wpi.wpi.edu |MFE '95 Worcester Polytech | sig's are fun |___________|___________________|Life sucks, then you move | sig's tell where to flame someone |to Cleveland!|-------------| ---------------------------------------------------------------------- #ifdef TRUE | Fuzzy Fox fuzzy@netcom.com #define TRUE 0 | a.k.a. David DeSimone an207@cleveland.freenet.edu #define FALSE 1 | #endif | "911 Emergency Rescue Service - Can you hold, please?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- If you repeat things often enough, they become true. Phil Jansen If you repeat things often enough, they become true. philj@tekig5.pen.tek.com If you repeat things often enough, they become true. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Feel the urge to put excessively cute little quotes into your .sig? JUST SAY NO! If you or one of your friends is frequently plagued by this tendency, Help IS available, even for those with multi-page .sigs. Personal and group therapy are also available on an out-patient basis. Ask me how. -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= --------------------------------------------------------------------- Jamie Orzechowski RipNET Internet System Administrator Tel.: (613)342-3946 ext 293 Tel.: (800)267-4434 ext 293 Fax.: (613)342-8672 Page.: (613)341-0883 EMail.: mailto:mhz@recorder.ca Web.: http://www.moonchilli.com "If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------The Joys of Computers
---------------------------------------------------------------------- "You don't *run* programs on Ultrix." - Mark Moraes "Right, you chase them." - Rayan Zachariassen cks@hawkwind.utcs.toronto.edu ...!{utgpu,utzoo,watmath}!utgpu!cks ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "VMS is a text-only adventure game. If you win you can use unix." - w.davidson David Brower: {amdahl, cpsc6a, mtxinu, sun}!rtech!daveb daveb@ingres.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- David Weingart dweingar@ic.sunysb.edu The opinions expressed here aren't even mine... To err is human...to really foul up requires the root password. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ``Read my MIPS -- no new VAXes!!'' -- George Bush after sniffing freon Disclaimer: I speak for myself, except as noted. UUCP: ...!uunet!dsd.es.com!rthomson Rich Thomson ARPA: rthomson@dsd.es.com PEXt Programmer ---------------------------------------------------------------------- About MS-DOS: "... an OS originally designed for a microprocessor that modern kitchen appliances would sneer at...." - Dave Trowbridge, _Computer Technology Review_, Aug 90 iwblsys\ rlw@ttardis uunet!rel.mi.org!cfctech!ttardis!rlw sharkey.cc.umich.edu/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Roland J. Schemers III Systems/Network Manager schemers@vela.acs.oakland.edu (Ultrix) Oakland University schemers@argo.acs.oakland.edu (VMS) Rochester, MI 48309-4401 You can tune a piano, but you can't tuna VMS! (313)-370-4323 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- System Administrator Po.. Ed Wright@sequent.UUCP (1275)} I think I've got the hang of it now .... :w :q :wq :wq! ^d X exit X Q :quitbye CtrlAltDel ~~q :~q logout save/quit :!QUIT ^[zz ^[ZZ ZZZZ ^H ^@ ^L ^[c ^# ^E ^X ^I ^T ? help helpquit ^D ^d ^C ^c helpexit ?Quit ?q ^Kx /QY sync;halt KA9AHQ edw@sequent.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Read the OSI protocol specifications? | Henry Spencer @ U of Toronto Zoology I can't even *lift* them!" | henry@zoo.toronto.edu utzoo!henry ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Steve Lamont, SciViGuy -- (408) 646-2572 -- a guest at network.ucsd.edu -- NPS Confuser Center / Code 51 / Naval Postgraduate School / Monterey, CA 93943 "Unix is not a "A-ha" experience, it is more of a "holy-shit" experience." - Colin McFadyen in alt.folklore.computers ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Jim Duncan (jim@math.psu.edu) Penn State Math Dept Systems Administrator "[A computer is] like an Old Testament god, with a lot of rules and no mercy." Joseph Campbell ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "We're thinking about upgrading from | Henry Spencer @ U of Toronto Zoology "SunOS 4.1.1 to SunOS 3.5." | henry@zoo.toronto.edu utzoo!henry ---------------------------------------------------------------------- This program posts news to billions of machines throughout the galaxy. Your message will cost the net enough to bankrupt your entire planet. As a result your species will be sold into slavery. Be sure you know what you are doing. Are you absolutely sure you want to do this? [ny] y rsholmes@rodan.acs.syr.edu (Rich Holmes) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Ranjan Bagchi | cd /tmp; while (1) bagchi@eecs.umich.edu | mkdir spam; cd spam | end ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Frank A. Lonigro (franco@bbn.com, ...!harvard!bbn!franco) Bolt Beranek and Newman, Inc., 10 Moulton St., Cambridge, Mass. 02138 "e, s, s, s, n, e, e, nw, get chest, se, n, d" - Sound familiar?????? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tom Swiss/fantom@wam.umd.edu | "Born to die" | Keep your laws off my brain! "What's so funny 'bout peace, love and understanding?" - Nick Lowe "There are two major products that come out of Berkeley: LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence." -- Jeremy S. Anderson ---------------------------------------------------------------------- timr@gss.com Tim N Roberts, CCP Graphic Software Systems Beaverton, OR F U cn rd dis U mst uz Unix. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Chris Herborth cjherborth@rose.waterloo.edu 3B Hons English RPW cjherborth@lotus.waterloo.edu Disclaimer: This is your brain: "*" This is your brain on USENET: "."... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Programming graphics in X is like | Henry Spencer @ U of Toronto Zoology finding sqrt(pi) using Roman numerals. | henry@zoo.toronto.edu utzoo!henry ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---Jilara the Exile (motcsd!fsdcupt!jane@apple.com) (I hope.) "Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story ." ---Ashleigh Brilliant alternate mail path: jane%fsdcupt.csd@urbana.mcd.mot.com My email went to Urbana, but all I got was this stupid router! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- David A. Honig : You are in a dark room with a compiler, emacs, an internet connection, : and a thermos of coffee. : Your move ? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Gehri Grimaud gehri@cc.usu.edu Utah State University gehri@usu.bitnet Office of Computer Services "Friends don't let friends do MS-DOS" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael Meissner email: meissner@osf.org phone: 617-621-8861 Open Software Foundation, 11 Cambridge Center, Cambridge, MA, 02142 You are in a twisty little passage of standards, all conflicting. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "3 reasons why we can't make wiz in RL: ** Rich "Wichart" Chappell 1) We don't do enough killing. ** wizard@warhol.art.umich.edu 2) There are too damn many quests! ** wichart@aal.itd.umich.edu 3) The god doesn't sign on anymore. ** rich_chappell@ub.cc.umich.edu ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Laird P. Broadfield lairdb@crash.cts.com ...{ucsd, nosc}!crash!lairdb Hi! I'm a shareware signature! Send $5 if you use me, send $10 for manual! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Simon "I'm getting fed up with sorting out other peoples' problems" Oke (okes@essex.ac.uk) -- This signature is copyright 12/6/1992 Simon Oke. All rights reserved. If you like it and keep a copy for your own use, you owe me $20. Please pass it on to your friends with all documentation. Email okes@essex.ac.uk. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- If some unemployed punk in New Jersey can |kogutt@ucsu.colorado.edu get a cassette to make love to Elle McPherson | for $19.95 this virtual reality stuff is going |No matter where you go, to make crack look like Sanka. - Dennis Miller|there you are."-Buckaroo Banzai ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Ulf Lagerstedt "When the grammar checker identifies an error, Communicator C3Consult it suggests a correction and can even makes Uppsala, Sweden some changes for you." ulf@c3consult.comm.se Microsoft Word for Windows 2.0 User's Guide. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tom Limoncelli -- limonce@pilot.njin.net "So, these three strings walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'Hey, we don't serve Brad Templeton here'. So the first string..." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Palmer T. Davis ___ (ptd2@po.cwru.edu) \X/ cthread. cthread_fork(). Fork, thread, fork! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- This is not an official statement of The Hewlett-Packard Company. No war- ranty is expressed or implied. The information included herein is not to be construed as a committment on HP's part. Save a tree - disband an ISO working group today. Jason Zions The Hewlett-Packard Company Colorado Networks Division 3404 E. Harmony Road Mail Stop 102 Ft. Collins, CO 80525 USA jason@cnd.hp.com (303) 229-3800 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Mark H. Anbinder mha@baka.ithaca.ny.us BAKA Computers, Inc. QuickMail QM-QM 607-257-2614 200 Pleasant Grove Road Phax 607-257-2657 Ithaca, NY 14850 Phone 607-257-2070 Q: How many tech support people does it take to change a light bulb? A: We have an exact copy of the light bulb here and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Okay, just exactly how dark is it? Okay. There could be four or five things wrong. Have you tried the light switch? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "The best accelerator available for a Mac is one that causes it to go at 9.8 m/s2." "Scott S. Morrison" (morrison+scott@cmu.edu) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tim Scoff casper@nb.net (http://www.nb.net/~casper/) The box said, Win95 or better required....so I used a Mac! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- m/lamber45\100(egr|pilot)\.msu\.edu/ and print <<MHM16x20 David Lee Lambert -- Just another perl hacker webstuph at http://web.egr.msu.edu/~lamber45 MHM16x20 E-mail: lmert at c3net.net I am a hacker, part of an open society sworn to create and study, but never destroy. We know the truth about operating systems. In the end, there can be only one. May it be GNU/Linux, the OpenSource OS ---------------------------------------------------------------------- James Walden, MD6 OR Postmaster | Intel MD6 Engineering Computing | "Sendmail is the sort of tool that gave JF1-22, 1st floor, pole H-16 | UNIX its bad reputation." (503) 712-1433 | -- _System Performance Tuning_ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Wei-Hwa Huang, whuang@ugcs.caltech.edu, http://www.ugcs.caltech.edu/~whuang/ C is for Cookies. Perl is even better for Cookies. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- +---------------------------------------------------------------+ | Bob Taylor Email: brtaylor@inreach.com | |---------------------------------------------------------------| | Like the ad says, at 300 dpi you can tell she's wearing a | | swimsuit. At 600 dpi you can tell it's wet. At 1200 dpi you | | can tell it's painted on. I suppose at 2400 dpi you can tell | | if the paint is giving her a rash. (So says Joshua R. Poulson)| +---------------------------------------------------------------+ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Maddi Hausmann {pacbell sun apple ubvax mips>}!tandem!hausmann_maddi Tandem Computers, Inc. Cupertino, CA 95014 408/285-0864 Our stock might crash but our systems don't! A fault-tolerant computer company can recover from my opinions. --------------------------------------------------------------------- %! Jon Monsarrat jgm@cs.brown.edu Brown University %! Obfuscated PostScript 0 0 moveto 15 setlinewidth(qlllll-??LHHL??llH?hH7t,7olCAHH@)1 setlinejoin{dup 10 mul rotate 80 lt{50 0 rlineto}{50 0 rmoveto}ifelse}forall stroke showpage ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Lydia Leong, CSE '94 | C code. C code run. Run code run... please! lwl@eniac.seas.upenn.edu | Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic lwl@imsasun.imsa.edu | "man reboot" (-n option): Avoids the sync(1). It lwl@csa.bu.edu | can be used if a disk or the processor is on fire. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- /* jhallen@world.std.com (192.74.137.5) */ /* Joseph H. Allen */ int a[1817];main(z,p,q,r){for(p=80;q+p-80;p-=2*a[p])for(z=9;z--;)q=3&(r=time(0) +r*57)/7,q=q?q-1?q-2?1-p%79?-1:0:p%79-77?1:0:p<1659?79:0:p>158?-79:0,q?!a[p+q*2 ]?a[p+=a[p+=q]=q]=q:0:0;for(;q++-1817;)printf(q%79?"%c":"%c\n"," #"[!a[q-1]]);} ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Keith Barr | A tip from a UNIX guru-- | Aerospace Engineer -----------------------| in a friends .cshrc file |------------------------- Commercial Pilot/Inst. | add the following line: |barrk@tramp.colorado.edu Single & Multi/IGI | alias cd 'rm -rf' |barr@ncar.ucar.edu ---------------------------------------------------------------------- / / aj008@cleveland.freenet.edu.Huey Lewis and the News / / Upgrading your Mcintrash or Impotent Business \ \/ / Machine? Don't bother. Upgrade to an Amiga. \ \/Amiga-"We Make Computers for the Masses, Not the Classes." --------------------------------------------------------------------- Tony Quirke, Wellington, New Zealand. Quirke_a@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz "Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea -- massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind- boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it."--gene spafford,1992 --------------------------------------------------------------------- Jurgen Botz, jbotz@mtholyoke.edu | Vending machines SHOULD respond to a [finger] South Hadley, MA, USA | request with a list of all items currently --Unix is dead, long live Unix-- | available for purchase... -RFC1288 --------------------------------------------------------------------- Daniel F. Boyd -- boyd@cs.buffalo.edu It's not a system called 'X Windows', it's a window system named 'X', after the owl on "Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood". --------------------------------------------------------------------- ---hman@[paola][maya][claudia][chiara].dei.unipd.it - Don't let the SUN go down on me {George Michael} - Hi Mom. I know nobody reads manuals and FaQs, but I knew _you_ would. I worked really hard on this manual, and...Mom...wake up Mom.... ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- pck@acsu.buffalo.edu / "Our days are like grass..." - Psalms 103:51 Your eyes are weary from staring at the CRT. You feel sleepy. Notice how restful it is to watch the cursor blink. Close your eyes. The opinions stated above are yours. You cannot imagine why you ever felt otherwise. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ============== Ronn F. Black --> ronn@btsoft.cmhnet.org ======================= People who think MSDOS & Windows are the slickest thing since sliced butter should be forced to wear a sign stating "This mind intentionally left blank";^} ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- domain: tahorsley@csd.harris.com USMail: Tom Horsley +=============================================+511 Kingbird Circle Don't have awk? Use this simple sh emulation: |Delray Beach, FL 33444 #!/bin/sh +======================+ echo 'Awk bailing out!' exit 2 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- callahan@rhombus.cs.jhu.edu (Paul Callahan) presents: -- DingDongs+++++ TacoSauce+++ Th'70s---- Styrofoam++++++ CoolWhip+++ MrToad---- "Do I have a SECRET CODE yet???" (Paul Callahan, callahan@biffvm.cs.jhu.edu) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ | Arne Rohde Internet: arne@pinn.nacjack.gen.nz or: arne@kcbbs.gen.nz | | Arne's Law of Debugging: If you can't find the bug you are looking for, | | there are 3 possibilities: (1) You're looking for the wrong bug, | | (2) You're looking in the wrong place, or (3) You're (temporarily) blind. | +---------------------------------------------------------------------------+ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Stephan Zielinski szielins%dvlpyr@us.oracle.com I don't fear Limbo-- I administer Pyramids. I don't fear Purgatory-- I administer HP/UX. And I don't fear Hell-- I administer AIX. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jorge A. Castellano | "I'm writing a program that takes e-mail jc@fiu.edu | the input in, and puts the ouput Florida International University | out." -A Labmate ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- : , , Dave DeLaney .sig criticism virus. (tm) Andy Wardley : -o o- abw@oasis.icl.co.uk : l "You're not putting that Information : - Superhighway through my front room!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Matthew B. Kennel/mbk@caffeine.engr.utk.edu/I do not speak for ORNL, DOE or UT Oak Ridge National Laboratory/University of Tennessee, Knoxville, TN USA/ I would not, could not SAVE ON PHONE, |================================== I would not, could not BUY YOUR LOAN, |The US Government does not like I would not, could not MAKE MONEY FAST, |spam either. It is ILLEGAL! I would not, could not SEND NO CA$H, |USC Title 47, section 227 I would not, could not SEE YOUR SITE, |p (b)(1)(C) www.law.cornell.edu/ I would not, could not EAT VEG-I-MITE, | /uscode/47/227.html I do *not* *like* GREEN CARDS AND SPAM! |================================== M A D - I - A M! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- foop@sg2.pcy.kcl.ac.uk (Chris Richardson) foop (fu:p):n. [Pharmacy, King's College London] Departmental Postgrad Geek. '6. I am afraid that I'm becoming a network nerd. How can I tell for sure?' 'How many syllables do you think there are in the word "coax"?' -- Dr. Internet ---------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mark Levy, Computer Consultant | Unix: The only computer virus with System Management Associates | a user interface (such as it is) LEVY.M@WORLDNET.ATT.NET | Friends don't let friends use Unix! --------------------------------------------------------------------- The Unix "file system" Sure it corrupts your data, but look how fast it is! --------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ____________________________________________________ Nyani-Iisha F. Martin nfmartin@fas.harvard.edu "I'm sorry. I may marry you and father your children, but I'm not giving you my root password." ----Bill Duetschler, my SO ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Smoke crack. Worship Satan. Admin unix. beegle@usa.net Standard $500/message proofreading fee applies for UCE. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- You've slept 4 hours in 4 days...Your blood turned to | bofh@visi.com caffine yesterday...You change rechargable batteries |--------------------- in your pager twice daily...Your cell phone bill | Wanted: sysadmin job rivals the national debt...You're a sysadmin. | in D.M., IA area ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Let us pray: What a Great System. bos@eng.sun.com Please Do Not Crash. bos@serpentine.com ^G^IP@P6 http://www.serpentine.com/~bos ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Kevin L. Hudson | This is your brain: PGS Tensor | LILO........................ Systems Admin. | This is your brain on drugs: mailto:kevinh@hstn.tensor.pgs.com | Starting Windows 95 ... | Any questions? Any opinions and / or advice are mine alone and are not authorized or endorsed by PGS Tensor or any other corporate entity. That said: Down with bill gates! Long live Linus Torvalds! Download, install and start using Linux Today! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- William Beegle Operations Specialist (412)268-7490 Pittsburgh Supercomputing Center "If the designers of X Windows built cars, there would be no fewer than five steering wheels hidden about the cockpit, none of which followed the same principles -- but you'd be able to shift gears with your car stereo. Useful feature, that." --Marcus J. Ranum, Digital Equipment Corp. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- STAR LIGHT STAR BRIGHT / FIRST STAR I SEE TONIGHT (rone+sig@netcom.com) I WISH I MAY I WISH I MIGHT / ALL THE MORONS ON USENET BE BLOWN UP WITH CORDITE ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Steve VanDevender "I ride the big iron" http://jcomm.uoregon.edu/~stevev stevev@hexadecimal.uoregon.edu PGP keyprint 4AD7AF61F0B9DE87 522902969C0A7EE8 "bash awk grep perl sed df du, du-du du-du, vi troff su fsck rm * halt LART LART LART!" -- the Swedish BOFH ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Alistair Riddell - BOFH IT Support Department, George Watson's College, Edinburgh Tel: +44 131 447 7931 Ext 176 Fax: +44 131 452 8594 Microsoft - because god hates us ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Simon Slavin -- Computer Contractor | DAMN WHO MESSED WITH MY CAPSLOCK http://www.hearsay.demon.co.uk | KEY that's better. -- Geoff Lane Check email address for UBE-guard. | <e886430646@swirl.mcc.ac.uk> My s/ware deletes unread >3 UBEs/day.| Junk email not welcome at this site. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------Wierd Science
---------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael Ewan (503)627-6468 Internet: mike@raven.USS.TEK.COM Unix Systems Support UUCP: ...!tektronix!puffin!raven!mike Tektronix, Inc. Compuserve: 73747,2304 "Fig Newton: The force required to accelerate a fig 39.37 inches/sec."--J. Hart ---------------------------------------------------------------------- John Hritz, jih@ox.com Photons have mass!!?? O.T.A. Limited Partnership I didn't even know Ann Arbor, MI 48103 they were Catholic... (313) 930-1888 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Curt Wiederhoeft curtw@euler.jsc.nasa.gov Will design spacecraft for food. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- William A. Emanuelsen I degaussed my girlfriend and I'm wae@aerospace.aero.org just not attracted to her anymore. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Patrick S. Clark | "You can think of Tyrannosaurus rex as the Email is life! | 8,000-pound roadrunner from hell." Usual disclaimer | Bob Bakker in A&E's _Dinosaur_ series ----------------------------------------------------------------------School Daze
---------------------------------------------------------------------- |\ /| | \/ | ike Greelish Carnegie Mellon U. undergrad, professional writing major quote: "The brain cells, they canna take the strain!" ---me stupid disclaimer: My opinions are. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- | Kevin Schlegelmilch | Purdue should give me back half my | | schlege@cn.ecn.purdue.edu | tuition since I've missed half of | | schlege@lips1.ecn.purdue.edu | my classes. | ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Ronald Ely // re0t@andrew.cmu.edu //fubar - where CS students go for a drink. \\ //If you don't believe me, look it up. \\/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- [From: Faisal Jawdat (fj05+@andrew.cmu.edu)] -Fiz B2 Hamerschlag: We're the best freshman floor this year, and at the rate we're going, we'll be the best freshman floor next year, too. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- [ My opinions are not endorsed by SLAC, Caltech, or the US government ] What is your _name_? "kelsey@slacvm.slac.stanford.edu" What is your _quest_? "To get a Ph.D. in high-energy physics" When will you _finish_? "I don't know. Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh..." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- chris@cobalt.cco.caltech.edu Chris Launey, Ruddock House, box 791 "Life is like a burrito: Caltech, Pasadena, California 91126 If it's really good, Caltech Happy Hours: September-June You won't need a knife." All you can drink! Cover charge $23,000 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- **************************Sucheta Doshi*************************** sdoshi@olaf.wellesley.edu sdoshi@lucy.wellesley.edu Wellesley, NOT because it's a girl's school without men, BUT because it's a WOMEN'S COLLEGE without boys. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------Media Moronities
---------------------------------------------------------------------- Jon ..??$!...ames!pacbell!sactoh0!vector0!jon Internet: sactoh0!vector0!jon@pacbell.com "It's hard to believe that the entire fate of the world lies in the hands of the Phone Company." --- War of the Worlds ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Steven Miale spm2d@virginia.edu -- On the next exciting episode of "Jimmy Buffett: The Next Generation": The Enterprise loses their shakers of salt... Picard: "Why don't we get drunk..." Crew: "AND SCREW!!!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -- / "Are you a _God_?" - Gozer the Destroyer \ | "No ma'am, we're musicians" - The Blues Brothers | \...Dave Green, DAI, Edinburgh, UK ======= Disclaimer: All my own work.../ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- David Boyes | "Where's the ka-boom? There's supposed to be an dboyes@rice.edu | Earth-shattering ka-boom!...Heavens! Someone has | stolen the Illudium Q-38 Explosive Space Modulator! "Delays, delays!" | The Earth creature has *stolen* the Space Modulator!" --------------------------------------------------------------------- "A horse is a horse, of course, of course, He follows a lifestyle we don't endorse, He drinks the blood of a sheep, by force, -Ron The vampire horse, Count Ed!" (lev0@midway.uchicago.edu) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A host is a host from coast to coast.....wb8foz@mthvax.cs.miami.edu & no one will talk to a host that's close............(305) 255-RTFM Unless the host (that isn't close)......................pob 570-335 is busy, hung or dead....................................33257-0335 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: chris@tiamat.fsc.com (Chris Gregory) Rabbit season. Duck season. Rabbit season. Duck season. Rerun season - Fire! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: djcl@contact.uucp (woody) || "Might as well go for a soda / Nobody hurts and nobody cries || Might as well go for a soda / Nobody drowns and nobody dies" - Kim Mitchell ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Internet: baker@ide.com \ WALT DISNEY IS NOT DEAD! uucp: uunet!ide!baker \ He's in suspended animation. uunet: ide!baker@uunet.uu.net \ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ** Robb Beard | Purdue University | He's dead, Jim. You ** beard@PURCCVM.BITNET | Computing Center | grab his tricorder, ** aoj@mentor.cc.purdue.edu | PUCC Consultant | I'll get his wallet. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- /----------------------------------------------------------\\ | "Actually its a buck-and-a-quarter quarterstaff, but I'm | | not telling him that!" bakersm@mentor.cc.purdue.edu | \\----------------------------------------------------------/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Mike Cantonwine "Count the Moon." mikec@iastate.edu "One." hza01@isuevax.iastate.edu "Whoa...." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "I figured there was this holocaust, right, and the only ones left alive were Donna Reed, Ozzie and Harriet, and the Cleavers." --Wil Wheaton, explaining why everyone in Star Trek:TNG is so nice tyg tyg@hq.ileaf.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Stef In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a stef@apple.com sentence with words in the proper order then why can't he? /fortune ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Toxic Avenger eboyd@tjhsst.vak12ed.edu It's like a kind of torture to have to watch the show - Statler & Waldorf The Muppet Show Reality is just Chaos with better lighting. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- You've just had a heavy day commanding a starship. You've fought Klingons off the starboard bow, kept your ship from being blown up many times, and generally worked yourself into a stupor. Now comes LOG time. You deserve more then just LOG, you deserve CAPTAIN'S LOG! Dave Hoek enjolras@spdcc.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dave Tong (dave@ncc.co.uk ) | AKBAR & JEFF'S PROTOCOL TESTING HUT NCC Open Systems Development | Where the elite meet to complete the test suite National Computing Centre Ltd.|------------------------------------------------ Armstrong House, Oxford Road, | The Doctor smiled. "I've beaten Wirrn, Macra, Manchester M1 7ED ENGLAND | Zarbi, Spiders... I can beat any insectoid Vox: +44 (0)61 228 6333 | creature you can show me, miss...?" The woman Fax: +44 (0)61 236 4715 | sholdered her blaster. "Ripley. Ellen Ripley." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- =============================== Mike Gaines ============================ = WHAT is your name?............................Captain Jean-Luc Picard= = WHAT is your quest?.............................I seek the Holy Grail= = WHAT is the average velocity of a Bird of Prey?...Romulan or Klingon?= = I.....I don't know AAAAAHHHHH! = ========================== meg5184@hertz.njit.edu ====================== AOL: Graphix@AOL.COM ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ============================================================ / Chris Adamson / FREE TODD BRIDGES!! / / Michigan St. U. / Limit 1 Todd Bridges per customer / / Media Arts Prgm. / ------------------------------------- / / M.A. student / plucky@umcc.ais.org , plucky2@aol.com / =========================================================== ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I am Robert Billing, Christian, inventor, traveller, cook and animal lover, I live near 0:46W 51:22N. http://www.tnglwood.demon.co.uk/ "Bother," said Pooh, "Eeyore, ready two photon torpedoes and lock phasers on the Heffalump, Piglet, meet me in transporter room three" unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk (Robert Billing) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Oh my God, Space Aliens!! Don't eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!" -- Homer J. Simpson Sudhakar C13n http://people.netscape.com/thaths/ Indentured Slave ---------------------------------------------------------------------- INTERNET: tjw+@pitt.edu BITNET: TJW@PITTVMS "Laugh while you can, Monkey Boy!" - Lord "John" Warfin "There can be only one!" - The Highlander "There should have been only one. I want my money back!" - Terry ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ============================================================================== :: :: :: :: :: Synth F. synth@deepthought.unm.edu U S E N E T :: :: :: :: :: :: :: Oberheim synth@yenta.alb.nm.us in color! ============================================================================== "Fire laser gun!" - Mighty Joe #1 "Fire second battery!" - Mighty Joe #2 "Fire screenwriter!" - Crow ---------------------------------------------------------------------- riffer@afn.org : She's dead, Jim. Now get off her. Jeff The Riffer : Drifter... : Homo Postmortemus : ---------------------------------------------------------------------- __ ________________________________________________________________ (__| ED LEE |__elee@juno.com_________1:3629/101.8_________TREK_CREATIVE_Mod__) .!. See William Shatner and Avery Brooks on Deep Space 911! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Pinky, are you pondering what *I'm* pondering?" "I think so, Brain, but *please* don't make me visualize what the priest isn't wearing underneath his robe!"--from the Lost PatB archives Mark (mstaple@agammemnon.com) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- coonec@rpi.edu Comp. Science, Blah Blah Sparc MIPS Blah "Watch me not care" dilbert 19960219 | "Brain, konban wa nani o shimashitai?" | Do not watch "Your Japanese is terrible, Pinky." | this space ---------------------------------------------------------------------- I am Robert Billing, Christian, inventor, traveller, cook and animal lover, I live near 0:46W 51:22N. http://www.tnglwood.demon.co.uk/ "Bother," said Pooh, "Eeyore, ready two photon torpedoes and lock phasers on the Heffalump, Piglet, meet me in transporter room three" Robert Billing (unclebob@tnglwood.demon.co.uk) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Kevin Wald | Ivonova -- doot-doooo, doo-doo-doot . . . wald@math.uchicago.edu | Ivonova -- doot doo-doot doot . . . ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------Simply Good Quotes
---------------------------------------------------------------------- J. Michael Tisdel | "To do is to be." -- Plato jtisdel@digi.lonestar.org | "To be is to do." -- Kant DSC Communications Corp. | "Do be do be do." -- Sinatra ** Standard Disclaimer ** | ---------------------------------------------------------------------- William December Starr (wdstarr@athena.mit.edu) This is an Uzi. This is an Uzi on full auto. Any questions? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ROGER B.A. KLORESE MIPS Computer Systems, Inc. MS 6-05 930 DeGuigne Dr. Sunnyvale, CA 94086 +1 408 524-7421 rogerk@mips.COM {ames,decwrl,pyramid}!mips!rogerk "I'm the NLA" "The problem with the rat race is even if you win you're still a rat." - Tomlin ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Dave Sill (de5@ornl.gov) It will be a great day when our schools have Martin Marietta Energy Systems all the money they need and the Air Force Workstation Support has to hold a bake sale to buy a new bomber. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Double Fannucci: A game played with cards." - Encyclopedia Frobozzica "Bear left." "Right, Frog!" - The Muppet Movie "Sunlight poses a problem to our 'ethnic group'. " - Gremlins II "But there's no gambit that I don't see through..." - Chess // David DeBry - dsd.es.com - (Multiple genres for a twisted person) // ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Don't Use Racist or Sexist Language" - Political Correctness Police Slogan "Let's Beat Up That African-American" - Los Angeles Police Department Slogan -Bill Stewart's .sig file ---------------------------------------------------------------------- +-----------------------------+-------------+---------------------------+ | UCSB NeXT Campus Consultant | Mark Dadgar | 6600dadg@ucsbuxa.ucsb.edu | +-----------------------------+-------------+---------------------------+ | Do you remember chalk hearts melting on a playground wall? | | Do you remember dawn escapes from moon-washed college halls? | | Do you remember cherry blossoms in the market square? | | Do you remember I thought it was confetti in our hair? | +-------------Would UCSB write anything this intelligent?---------------+ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ********** Steve Ramirez * sramirez@burro.intel.com * 602-554-2405 ************ "If Ford is to Chevrolet what Dodge is to Chrysler,what Corn Flakes are to Post Toasties, what the Clear Blue Sky is to the Deep Blue Sea, what Hank Williams is to Neil Armstrong...can you doubt we were made for each other?" -Lyle Lovett ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Yeah yeah, I know "Shhesh, what's wrong?" Richh@Cellar.uucp "Don't blame me. I told her 'more' was a stupid safeword." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "There is no back alley, Corky. Women in this | Dan Hartung country have a choice! ... at least, I think | dhartung@chinet.chi.il.us they still do -- I haven't checked the paper | Birch Grove Software yet this morning." -- Murphy Brown ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Jeffrey Hitchin------------------------------------------------------- "You've never heard of [Pennsic]?...It's a great war, the loser gets to keep Pittsburgh." _The Unforgiving Minutes_ by Mary Monica Pulver UUCP: {hplabs!hp-sdd ucsd nosc}!crash!pnet01!jhitch ARPA: crash!pnet01!jhitch@nosc.mil INET: jhitch@pnet01.cts.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Mark McKinzie | Tra la la, Tra la la la, Tra la la la la la la la mckinzie@math.wisc.edu | -The Banana Splits, 1968- UW Dept. of Mathematics | Oy oi oi, Oy yoi oi oi, Oy oi oi oi oi oi oi oi Madison, WI 53706 | -Bob Marley, 1974- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Berkeley, California Internet: TWChan@lbl.gov "A few months ago, I was watching 'Friday Night Videos' and I saw three groups in a row with one member who is a client of mine." -- Sy Sperling ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------]Elisabeth Anne Riba * lis@chaos.cs.brandeis.edu[--------------- "I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman." Dan Quayle Quick! Notify DC. I think it's time for another 900 number poll. "We are enjoying a sluggish economy & not enjoying it very much." --Bush ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Rick Busdiecker (rfb+@cs.cmu.edu) ``Just saying `no' prevents teenage pregnancy the way `Have a nice day' cures chronic depression.'' - Faye Wattleton ---------------------------------------------------------------------- A fanatic is someone who does what he knows that God would do if God knew the facts of the case. Some mailers apparently munge my address; you might have to use bsmart@bsmart.tti.com -- or if that fails, fall back to 72027.3210@compuserve.com. Ain't UNIX grand? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Michael Maciolek - mikem@ll.mit.edu --- VOICE (617)981-3174 - FAX (617)981-0189 Network Engineer - MIT Lincoln Laboratory - Computer Telecommunications Systems ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Called up the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms regional office and asked, "What wine goes best with an M-16?" The guy who answered did his best to be helpful: "That depends. What are you smoking?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Charlie Watts Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur. cewatts@frontier.net (Whatever is said in Latin sounds profound.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------Isn't That Pretty?
---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------- \Mark Dickson (502) 588-5659 \ _ ______ | \Dwight Anderson Music Library \ / \___-=0`/|0`/__| \University of Louisville \_\ / | / ) /Louisville, KY 40292 / `/-==__ _/__|/__ -| /mfdick01@ulkyvm.bitnet / * \ | | / mfdick01@ulkyvm.louisville.edu / (o) ----------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- /_ /| /____/ \ /_ /| Ron Baalke |baalke@mars.jpl.nasa.gov | | | | __ \ /| | | | Jet Propulsion Lab | ___| | | | |__) |/ | | |___ M/S 301-355 | It's 10PM, do you know /___| | | | ___/ | |/__ /| Pasadena, CA 91109 | where your spacecraft is? |_____|/ |_|/ |_____|/ | We do! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- __________________________ |es2r+@andrew.cmu.edu \\ My other .sig | | -------- \\ is a Porsche |EllioTT Schiff,| | \\ \\ |es2r RabbiTT | --------- \\__________ | ___ | ~ | ___ I | /@@@\\ | | /@@@\\ I --|@ @|--------------------|-|@ @|--I @ @ @ @ @@@ @@@ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ \\\\\\ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ! alekz vermont / *~~~~~~(||||) ! ! My name is Vermont \____ ! ! I do what I want (haha) o| o "Trepanation -- ! ! ( |_ I need it like I need ! ! alekz@library.welch.jhu.edu |--> a hole in my head" ! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ \___/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MY OPINIONS ARE NOT MY OWN -- THEY'VE BEEN *DRILLED* INTO ME. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- [ ..... ] Kerry R. Schwab | Jake liked his women the way he liked [ ..... ] Denver University | his crackers: bland yet tasty, crisp- [ ..... ] kschwab@nyx.cs.du.edu | tasting yet soft in the mouth, and [_______] Finger for last login | covered with iodized salt. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Jason, from ... brrr ... Canada! / . o | . \ email to jschklar@trentu.ca / . `-O-| .\ "Shake once and then watch Frosty | . . ( )# . | play in his winter wonderland..." |::::::::::::::::| ---------------------------------------------------------------------- _ _|_______====___H____/===_====_====_====_====_===\\____H___====_____ |_______| [[[[ \\### &&&&&&&&&&&&||&&&&&&&&&&&& ###/ [[[[ | _______| [][] |____ """ UNION | | PACIFIC """ | /|o ____| UP |__|_\\___________________|__|____________________/\\_________| |_| / |__74__| \\_| | | | | | || | | | | | | | / \\| | |_| |_|=|====|======|===|===\\/=================================|=\\/=|======|==|_| |_| [(o)=(o)=(o)=(o)]|_________________||________________[(o)=(o)=(o)=(o)]|_| ============================================================================= [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] [] 5000 H.P. Track Staightener Bill Smith@mathnx.math.byu.edu ---------------------------------------------------------------------- (__) Lisamarie Gemma Babik (oo) /-------\/ 91babik@gw.wmich.edu / | || * ||w---|| When cows laugh really hard, ^^ ^^ does milk come out their nose? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- /| / | / | Ziniu Wei _____/___|_____ Center of Excellence of Document Analysis (CEDAR) / / / / Department of Computer Science / / / / State University of New York at Buffalo /____/____/____/ | / | / Internet: ziniuwei@cs.buffalo.edu | / |/ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ____________ | __________ |\\ ...................................... || 0 0 || | . . David E. Gregg . . || J || | . . Computer Education Coordinator . . || [___] || | . . Computing Services . . ||__________|| | . . Carnegie Mellon University . . | __________ | | . . 412-268-3086 . . | ______==== | | . . dg4a@andrew.cmu.edu . . | __________ | | . .................................. . |____________|/ . .......................... . . . ........ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ........ . . ...................................... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ____ _____________________________ . _ . /# /_\\_ / \\ |\\_|/__/| | |/o\\o\\ | PR is my life...you eediot! | / / \\/ \\ \\ | \\\\_/_/ \\____________________________/ /__|O||O|__ \\ / |_ | / |/_ \\_/\\_/ _\\ | | ||\\_ ~| -/ | | (____) | || | ||| \\/ Saul Markowitz \\/\\___/\\__/ // | |||_ (_/ || \\// | Director of Public Relations | || || | Carnegie Mellon University | ||\\ ||_ \\ College of Fine Arts \\ //_/ \\_| o| Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 15213 \\______// /\\___/ (412) 268-5765 __ || __|| / ||||__ sm6t@andrew.cmu.edu (____(____) (___)_) /***********\\ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The opinions expressed in this article may or may not be based on fact, fiction, characters or events (real or imaginary), reality, truth, or logic. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= | \ _ |_ Robert M. Shearman, Jr. E-Mail: madison@wam.umd.edu =-= |_/ / \ | \ University of Maryland "WILL WORK FOR | \ \_/ |_/ College Park, Maryland CHOCOLATE" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ---------------------------------------------------------------------- /|\ / \ ' ' ' '' / | \ ' ______________________________ ' ' ' / \ ' | You are now leaving the | / | \ ' ' | state of southern CALIFORNIA | ' / \ | Please buckle up. Thank | / | \ ' | you for visiting. | . ' / \ ' | | ' / | \ | TSMITH@CERRITOS.EDU | ' ' / \ ' '| ____________________________ | / | \ ' || ' || ' ' / \ || ' || ' ' / | \ || || ' . / \ . . '' / | \ ' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- { /|~~~~~| | | "You will be assimilated. Resistance is } { / | | | | futile. If you resist, you will be } { | |_____| | | punished. Have a nice day." } { |/_____/ | | -The Borg } ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Mike Jittlov - Wizard, etc . . + * .o o.* `.`. +. Hollywood, CA 90026-2714 ' * . ' ' |\^/| `. * . * jittlov@gumby.cs.caltech.edu (: May All Your \V/ Good Dreams (& alt.fan.mike-jittlov) and Fine Wishes /_\ Come True:) ============================================== _/ \_ =========== "It was only after their population of fifty mysteriously shrank to eight, that the other seven dwarfs began to suspect Hungry." --------------------------------------------------------------------- ____ _____ | John J. Posavatz / \ \ / \ \ | Undergraduate School of Business \ \ \ / \ \ | The University of Texas at Austin \ \ \ / /\ \___\ | \ \ \ \ \/ / / | sexyguy @ ccwf.cc.utexas.edu \ \___\ \ /___/ | 76670.1614 @ compuserve.com / / / \ \ \ | / / / \ \___\ | Armadillo: Supply weapons / / / \ / / | to a Spanish \ _/___/ \/___/ | pickle.... --------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------ | _ _ | | ' )_ _ ' ) Mike Wixson | | / ) ) / / / wixson@infonode.ingr.com | | / / / / / / Intergraph 730-1306 | | / / / * (__(__/ * "Life's a bitch and then | | you d Memory fault(coredump) $ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ************* __ ******************************************************** *********** / / ************ Susan Campbell * ********* / / ********* Commercial Systems Division (PDL/MXO) * ******* / /___ ______ ******* arpa: susanc@hpda.hp.com * ****** / __ // __ / ****** uucp: (hplabs.sun.uunet)!hpda!susanc * ****** / / / // /_/ / ************************************************ ******* /_/ /_// ____/ ******* US Mail: 19447 Pruneridge Ave, MS 47UE * ******** / / ********* Cupertino, CA 95014 * ********** / / *********** Phone: (408)447-7038 * *********** /_/ ********************************************************** --------------------------------------------------------------------- /\ Peter K. Taylor \\ \ Sun Microsystems of Canada, Inc. \ \\ / Markham, ON L3T 5B8 / \/ / / email: ptaylor@airfarce.Canada.Sun.com / / \//\ -------------------------------------------- \//\ / / I laugh in the face of danger, and / / /\ / put ice cubes down the back of / \\ \ the shirt of fear!........E.B. III \ \\ ----------------------------------------llap \/ --------------------------------------------------------------------- Matt mduhan@husc.harvard.edu ______ _ _ _ o | | -[O]- ( ) |#/) ROBOT | [] | /_____\ |^| (oo) ROLL) | o__] | |/ \| /{"}\ (=)/ CALL | || | \ / /_"_\ __=__ | | |CAMBOT| GYPSY TOM SERVO CROOOOW! |______| \_/ /_______\ | /_\ | (let's go) (pan left) (hi, girl) (what a cool guy) (wisecracker) --------------------------------------------------------------------- // |o| / _ \ |o| \\ }o{ "There's no ALL POWERFUL force |o| |==(0)==| |o| }o{ that controls my destiny...." \ /^\ / }o{ -- Han Solo (Star Wars) =[- Scotty the Sagemaster -]= }o{ (galahad@leland.stanford.edu) --------------------------------------------------------------------- --- /@@\ . : ::: : : : . Andrew Trapp (@@@@) . o o_ o ::: @ -O- O O : dreamer @ uiuc.edu \@@/ |\ ::: : : : \ \_____ YOU ARE HERE --------------------------------------------------------------------- o . . o o O o O ------------------------------- /| O . o / Daniel J. Karnes - WA6NDT \ / | o O o o o / djk@TASP.NET - djk@tasp.UUCP \ / | o o O o . . / djk@CtEdge.COM - djk@Crash.cts.COM \/ | O O . o o O / | . o . o / (0) ___ _ _ | o O O o . / | \/ | | \ / |_ | o . . --------------------------------------------------------------------- A BOZO! * I NOT AM AM NOT ******** ********** I ******** *********** A Andrew Bulhak, Kibologian ******** **** **** and bozonomer ******** **** **** B * ******** **** **** O acb@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au ******** **** **** Z ! ****** ********** O O ****** ********** ! Z ****** **** **** O **** **** **** * B **** **** **** **** **** I A **** *********** **** ********** A TO M N MA TON I * !OZOB A ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- / \ //\ |\___/| / \// .\ dragon@lair.nmt.edu /O O \__ / // | \ \ Dave Michaels / / \/_/ // | \ \ System Programmer @___@' \/_ // | \ \ "People say I'll get better soon, | \/_ // | \ \ but I keep telling them, ``I'm | \/// | \ \ not that kind of dragon!''" _|_ / ) // | \ _\ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jennifer E. Swofford Carnegie Mellon University jsap@andrew.cmu.edu __ __ __ __ Mellon College of Science iguana@cmu.edu / \ / \ / \ / \ Pittsburgh, PA ____________________/ __\/ __\/ __\/ __\_____________________________ ___________________/ /__/ /__/ /__/ /________________________________ | / \ / \ / \ / \ \____ voice: (412) 362-4286 |/ \_/ \_/ \_/ \ o \ FAX: (412) 661-6852 \_____/--{ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ____________________________________ /Teresa Ann Brown | browte@wwc.edu \ |browte@wwc.edu | __ __ | |Walla Walla College| / \/ \ | |___________________| | | | |I didn't make this | \ / | |my boyfriend did. | \/ | |He is very strange.| stevmi@wwc.edu | \___________________|________________/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- /===============================================================\ |Scott Maxwell * \ Nancy! Skate back here! --- O | |scottm@cup.portal.com * O/ I only want to talk --- /|\ | |Amiga 1000, 2000, 1200 * /| to you. Honest. ----- /\ | |Pet, SuperPET, Vic, 64 * /\ -- / / | |128D, 800XL, TI, //e * / / --- = = | \===============================================================/ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ___|\_______|________|_______________________O__________@____________ Pomona ___|/_______|________|_|___|__________|__@__|_____@__|_|____O._______|| College __/|____4___|__O_____|_|___|__O.______|_|@__|____|___|_|___|O.______o|| Men's _(_/^\__4__@|_|_____@__|___|_|________|_|@__|____|___|_|___|________o|| Blue & __\|/'_____@__|________|__@|_|________|_|________|___|_____|_________|| White d | Brian @ | Gray | 1st Tenor -- Pomona '96 bgray@pomona.claremont.edu (BRIAN "Mandy" GRAY) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- _______________ _______________________________________________ / __ __ \ matthew ian loew -car dude- MTU Formula SAE #14 __/ _/ \_____/ \_ \__ (_ _) /_\_________________/_\ ||_*_*_|====M====|_*_*_|| |`---------------------'| http://barracuda3.me.mtu.edu:8023/~loew/hp.html |____|--==-----==--|____| email:loew@mtu.edu finger:loew@cael1.me.mtu.edu ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Speed, having as its essence the intuitive synthesis of every force or moment is naturally pure" - F.T. Marinetti, Manifesto of Futurism 1909 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------------------------------- | Joseph W. Pozycki | || || | | Systems Engineer | || || | | Phone: 412-690-5011 | |||| |||| | | Fax: 412-690-5099 | ..:||||||:..:||||||:.. | | Mobile: 412-370-2021 | Cisco Systems Inc. | | Vmail: 175 5011 | 4 Gateway Center - 510 | | Email: jpozycki@cisco.com | Pittsburgh Pa. 15222 | -------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- .~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~. Turtle's Web Art & Design ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ Turtle@Albany.Net http://www.albany.net/~turtle/ ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ Pixel Pusher Hyper Thinker ~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~ "I'm an creationist. I refuse to believe I could have evolved from humans" Author unknown ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Evil Geniuses / /\ ___ ___ o ___ /o @netcom.com 37.16N 121.58W 200ft. For A \ () / / / // _ \ / / \ /\ / / \ /o +------ Squidly Diddly Sais ----- Better \--/ /___/ // |/ // / // // / / /__ o|"Life is no more then a sexually Tomorrow\/ / \___/ \___/ \/ / \/ \/ / /(oO) |Transmited Terminal diesease." __________/FTP.NETCOM.COM /pub/jo/jonin/ /||\ +-------------------------------- Kalix Legal Action Group FTP - Korg X3 FTP - MV Pro3D FTP -- IBM Soundcards FTP ---------------------------------------------------------------------- _____ _______ _ ______ _______ ______________ ____ __//____\\_ Y _ _//__________\\__ _ ° °°|_| __//_ ' __ _ ° Victor Hugo M. Pontes ___'_ _ __.oOo.__ Computer Science PUC-Poços de Caldas__ /'( _ )`\ http://www.geocities.com/Paris/3114/ / . \/^\/ . \ http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Gallery/2340 / _)_`-'_(_ \ http://www.angelfire.com/vt/Fanrip/ /.-~ ).( ~-.\ ` mailto:kave@pocos-net.com.br | /' /\_/\ `\ KAvE Productions - 3D Graphic Art (c) "-V-" °_DarkAges Productions - All Graphic Art ° ________ _ _ _______________ __ _ __ _______________ ___|°°_°___________°_°°| //____ _°_°°| KAvE //_____°_° ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- _______________________________________}\/\/\/{___ _______________________________________| |___ ...Rich Whicker,.Sr.,.MCSE,.CNE.......()()--, |... ...Philips.Semiconductors.-.TriMedia..(_ |... ...811.East.Arques.Avenue,.M/S.71......|______|... ...Bldg..440,.A26,.Ext..2816...........|/\----|... ...Sunnyvale,.CA.94088-3409........../\/ / __ |... ...(408).991-2816....................~--~ || |... ...Pager:.(888).614-6257........................rw ...e-mail: Richard.Whicker@sv.sc.Philips.com ..... ...web: http://members.aol.com/whickers4/ ........ __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- .:/ ,,///;, ,;/ o:::::::;;/// O >::::::::;;\\\ .^`. ''\\\\\'" ';\ .^_ \ \ o \ \ { \ { \ / `~~~--__ O { \___----~~' `~~-_ \ /// ` `~. ___ Oo / /~~~~-, ,__. , /// __,,,,) (___)o_o \/ \/ `~~~; ,---~~-_`~= //====--//( ) / / \\ ^ '._.' Just keep saying, "I am NOT part of the food chain"!!! http://web2.airmail.net/topgun No, I haven't been every where and done every thing. But I'm working on it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- .-. Robert.Harley@inria.fr .-. / \ .-. "Dances with bits" .-. / \ / \ / \ .-. _ .-. / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / \ / `-' `-' \ / \ / \ \ / `-' `-' \ / `-' Hit me with those laser beams. `-' ---------------------------------------------------------------------- .,-::::: :::. ....:::::: @niu.edu -- http://www.math.niu.edu/~caj/ ,;;;'````' ;;`;; ;;;;;;;;;```` [[[ ,[[ '[[, ''` `[[. "I'd like a large order of FiboNachos." $$$ c$$$cc$$$c ,,, `$$ "Okay sir, that'll cost as much as a `88bo,__,o, 888 888,888boood88 small order and a medium order combined." "YUMMMMMP"YMM ""` "MMMMMMMM" _____________________________________________ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ____/\___ | Andrew D. Charlton | "nz.general: the cesspool ___/__\__) | | of the nz.* hierarchy." (__/ \__ | mailto:charlton@ihug.co.nz | --nz.* usenet hierarchy / \ | --------------<+>-------------- | FAQ. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- +---------------------------------------------------------------------+ | ___.----~~~----.___ "Mr Worf, fire phasers at will | |,--------.-.,-'-------------------` .....NO, NOT AT WILL RIKER!!!" | |`--------"-'-.,---`~~~-----~~~' +---------------------------------+ | | '---'-._____/ | Name : Lin Ziwei | | +--------------------------------| E-mail : limcucw@singnet.com.sg |--+ \_______________________________| sci60065@nus.sg |_/ | limcw1@csmp01.cz.nus.sg| +---------------------------------+ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------Don't tread on me------------------------ | | ----------------------------- O | X | O | alanwbda@argonet.co.uk | ------------ ----------------------------- X | X | O YOU CAN'T WIN 'EM ALL ! ------------ O | O | X | | ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: :::/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\::::/~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\::: ::| Jay Woodward |::| You are in a maze of twisty |:: ::| woodward@andrew.cmu.edu |::| little messages, all alike. |:: :::\__________________________/::::\_______________________________/::: ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ****************************************************************** * | ____________________ __ * * Arsenio-Cesar B. Dimanlig | ____|__ // * * Clueless Waif | _/_|_| >=======(_) * * Northrop-Grumman Corporation | (________/ * * Military Aircraft Systems | / * * Division | This morning, minced * * (562) 948-8990 | meat on the interstate! * * adimanli@world.northgrum.com | * *-----------------------------------+ * * _______________________ * * ! ____| | Roadkill | ---- * * o__ /_o| | | Trucking Co. | --- #@&?!! * * _ >/ _ | _ |__|______________________| -- | * * (_) \(_) +--(_)+--(_)(_) (_)(_) __\o>__ * ****************************************************************** ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Gary L. Burnore | $$$|$$$$|$$$$$|$$$$|$$$$$$|$$$$$$ DataBasix | $$$|$$$$|$$$$$|$$$$|$$$$$$|$$$$$$ San Francisco, CA | $$$|$$$$|$$$$$|$$$$|$$$$$$|$$$$$$ | $$$ 3 4 1 4 2 $$$$ 6 9 0 6 9 $$$ http://www.databasix.com | Official Proof of Purchase =========================================================================== ---------------------------------------------------------------------- .---. .---------- Stuart Drew Golden, / \ __ / ------ Technical Support Specialist / / \( )/ ----- Transarc Corporation ////// ' \/ ` --- The Gulf Tower //// / // : : --- 707 Grant Street // / / /` '-- Pittsburgh, PA 15219 // //..\\ email: golden@platinum.nb.net ====UU====UU==== url: http://www.nb.net/~golden '//||\\` ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Rob ,-------- Humans /`-------- Chimpanzees ________________________________________/`--------- Slugs \ `--------- robert@vlsi.cs.caltech.edu ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- O~~* /_) ' / / /_/ ' , , ' ,_ _ \|/ - ~ -~~~~~~~~~~~/_) / / / / / / (_) (_) / / / _\~~~~~~~~~~~zap! / \ (_) (_) / | \ | | Bill Higgins Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory \ / Bitnet: HIGGINS@FNAL.BITNET - - Internet: HIGGINS@FNAL.FNAL.GOV ~ SPAN/Hepnet: 43011::HIGGINS ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Andreas Sjolund ___ _ _ __ ___ ___ ___ ___ \._~O~ Carnegie Mellon __\_O / _ \| \| | '\| _ )| __|/ _ \/ __/weden //\./ (412) 862-3644 [\_/| \ | _ | .' | | | . \| _|| _ \__ \ .. \>> as9e+@andrew.cmu.edu \\_/ |_| |_|_|\_|__,/|_|\_|___|_| |_|___/jolund \\, Some call me Fjord \] ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- OCTOBER 11, 1994 | __O_/~ |^^^^HAPPY NATIONAL^^^^ ____________________________________________|~ |___,|^^^^^^COMING OUT^^^^^^ Jeffrey William McKeough | \ |^^^^^^^^^DAY^^^^^^^^^^ marya@twain.ucs.umass.edu | ./ |^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- -- v=====v=====v\ 0 __ | Justin MacLeod T\ :. . . \,_/_J _>_ | Software Engineer __I_`v=====v=====v__ /|______| Bell-Northern Research T T | | | Ottawa, Ontario, CANADA I I ^ ^ | "Behind the 8 ball again?!?!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ... "I'm going to KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT!" --- þ Blue Wave/QWK v2.12 þ -- \_\_\_____/_/_/ |--------------------------------------------| {o o} | mooseman@io.org | ] [ | May the MOOSE be with you! | [_] |--------------------------------------------| ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (--------------------------) {(((((( ( T.P. O'Halloran ) /_ _ ) ( tpo@ix.netcom.com ) ( . . ) ( What a life !!! ) ( / ) (----------------------------------oOOo------------oOOo---) (---------------------------------------------------------) (---------------------------------------------------------) When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep like my Dad, not in a screaming panic.... like his passengers. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- _______ ./__|____\____ | _ | | _ \D "(o)-------(o)-" "If you ain't on course, you ain't on time!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- David Lewis Internet: DavidL@tautron.com Test Engineering Voice: 508.692.5100 ex379 tau-tron Fax: 508.692.9006 Ten Lyberty Way Home: 508.597.5752 Westford, MA 01886 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- |----\___ John P. LaRocque (larocqu@gaul.csd.uwo.ca) ********]|-----|___\__________ ********]|_______>___________/ "There are those who believe |_____ / that life here began out there..." ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------You Can Find Me...
---------------------------------------------------------------------- Marcel Bernards, UNIX & Net sysadm Netherlands Energy Research Foundation ECN P.O. Box 1, 1755 ZG Petten, PHONE: 09 312246 4579 EARN/BITNET:ESU0130@HPEENR51 EMAIL: bernards@ecn.nl bernards%ecn@{nluug.nl,uunet.uu.net},hp4nl!ecn!bernards SCREAMNet : AAAAAARGHH!HUH?? : Disclaimer: "The AntiChrist is the Computer !" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -brad albom Software Engineering Solutions, Inc Office: (707) 552-5248 - Probably get our machine Office: (415) 969-0141 - Probably get a secretary FAX : (415) 961-3050 - Probably get a high pitched tone email : brada@eng.sun.com - Best Bet ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Patti Beadles 503/696-4358 | I don't speak for Intel, nor vice-versa. patti@hosehead.intel.com | 75555.767@compuserve.com | If it wasn't for the last minute, or just yell, "Hey, Patti!" | I'd never get anything done! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------------------------All The Rest
---------------------------------------------------------------------- Joe Block (jpb@umbio.med.miami.edu) There was a young poet named Dan, whose poetry would never scan, when told this was so, He said, Yes I know, It's because I try to fit every possible syllable into the last line that I can. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- This is a test of the emergency signature system. Were this an actual signature, you would see amusing mottos, disclaimers, a zillion net addresses, or edifying philisophical statements. This is only a test. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- allon@eng.umd.edu (Allon Stern) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Hail to the sungod. || John Wichers || wichers@husc4.harvard.edu He sure is a fun god. || 121 Museum St #2, Somerville Ma. 02143 Ra! Ra! Ra! || Anarchy - It's not a law, it's just a good idea. || Jesus saves sinners ... and redeems them for valuable cash prizes!!! || ---------------------------------------------------------------------- The probability of forgetting | ARPA: tittle@glacier.ics.uci.edu something is directly proportional | UUCP: {sdcsvax|ucbvax}!ucivax!tittle to .... to .... uh .... | BITNET: cltittle@uci.bitnet ---------------------------------------------------------------------- internet : mvac23!thomas@udel.edu or thomas%mvac23@udel.edu uucp : {ucbvax,mcvax,psuvax1,uunet}!udel!mvac23!thomas Europe Bitnet: THOMAS1@GRATHUN1 Location: Newark, DE, USA Quote : I know how to spell banana, I just don't know when to stop ------------------------------------------------------------------------ scott hess scott@gac.edu Independent NeXT Developer GAC Undergrad (I still speak for nobody) "Tried anarchy, once. Found it had too many constraints . . ." "Buy `Sweat 'n wit '2 Live Crew'`, a new weight loss program by Richard Simmons . . ." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "It's a hardware bug! |"The communication of music is a heartbridge gateway to It's a software bug! | all people; not just the music of instruments, but the It's 2..2..2 bugs | music everyone can play and hear, the music of human- in 1!" - Hard Drive | ity through the instruments of love, sharing, giving, ------| e-mail: |------| friendship, and peace. Hopefully, we can all tune in ck8070@sarah.albany.edu| our sonic and spatial radios together!" - Eric Johnson ---------------------------------------------------------------------- -john "I'm paranoid... I tried to join Paranoids Anonymous. They wouldn't let me know where the meetings were." jf2z@andrew.cmu.edu ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Robert A Fabian | All things small and furry, I raf@basser.cs.su.oz.au | With teeth and claws removed. am Basser Department of Computer Science | I insert them rectally, only University of Sydney | And hope you do approve. kidding ---------------------------------------------------------------------- | Michael E. Dahmus MXD118@PSUVM / dahmus@endor.cs.psu.edu | | "The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be| | when you kill them." | ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Richard Harter, Software Maintenance and Development Systems, Inc. Net address: jjmhome!smds!rh Phone: 508-369-7398 US Mail: SMDS Inc., PO Box 555, Concord MA 01742 This sentence no verb. This sentence short. This signature done. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- | ftit@engin.umich.edu | | (Sergej Roytman to carbon-based lifeforms) | | | | --- mild-mannered programmer by day, | | positively grouchy programmer by night | | | | quote: "Reality is for people who can't | | handle Star Trek." --- ? | --------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- David Gossett---->CL249613%ulkyvm.bitnet@cunyvm.cuny.edu To err is human. To bleat is ovine. To bark is canine. To forgive is divine. To oink is porcine. To purr is feline. To moo is bovine. To howl is lupine. This list is assinine. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Gerry Roston (gerry@cs.cmu.edu) | Whenever we read the obscene stories, the Field Robotics Center, | voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and Carnegie Mellon University | torturous executions, the unrelenting Pittsburgh, PA, 15213 | vindictiveness, with which more than half (412) 268-6557 | the bible is filled, it would seem more | consistent that we called it the word of a | demon than the Word of God. It is a | history of wickedness that has served to | corrupt and brutalize mankind... | Thomas Paine +----------------------------------------------+-----------------------------+ |If you stick a stock of liquor in your locker,| Bart! You're no longer in | |It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock. | Sunday School. Don't swear! | | Or some joker who is slicker, |-----------------------------+ | Will trick you of your liquor, | Knut Torgersen | |If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock. | knutt@ifi.uio.no | +----------------------------------------------+-----------------------------+ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah uunet.uu.net!srg!jwarring blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Jeff Warrington ---------------------------------------------------------------------- `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,` `,` Democrat: Give us your money. _We'll_ solve your problems. `,` `,` Republican: Give us your money. We'll ignore your problems. `,` `,` Libertarian: Keep your money. Solve your own problems. `,` `,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,`,` jsteiner@anwsun.phya.utoledo.edu ,`,`,` ----------------------------------------------------------------------Still Unsorted
---------------------------------------------------------------------- Butch Anton | Psycho Racing (Novice Sprints) | butch@transarc.com Transarc Corp. | '87 EX-500 WERA #623 AMA/CCS #811 | DoD #0124 AMA#485814 707 Grant ST | M&N Racing (WERA Natl. Endurance) | '83 Seca 650 Turbo Pgh, PA 15219 | '89 CBR-600 WERA #83 Novice | '89 FZR 600 +1 412 338 4442 | "You have to be crazy to race this piece of shit!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Chris BeHanna DoD# 114 1983 H-D FXWG Wide Glide - Jubilee's Red Lady behanna@syl.nj.nec.com 1975 CB360T - Baby Bike Disclaimer: Now why would NEC agree with any of this anyway? I was raised by a pack of wild corn dogs. Plumbers Motto: A flush beats a full house. -------------------------------------------------------------- Jim Harkins [ucsd|uunet]!pacdata!jim Pacific Data Products jim@pacdata.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- --__________________________________________________________________________ If You Know What | Christina M. Callihan | Doing STRANGE THINGS You're Doing, | AKA C-chan, Bwee, Chrystal- | in the name of Art, It's Not | Elf & Who Knows What Else | and STRANGER THINGS Research! | (I sure don't) | in the name of => => => => => | c-chan@mcl.ucsb.edu | CHOCOLATE ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- When life gets weird, the weird get a life. :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Charles William Swiger -- CMU...*crunch*! | "Foosh. Aaughh!!" ------------------------------------------+ "Foosh. Aauuggghh!!" AMS & normal mail: infidel@cmu.edu | "Cold spray deodorant...." Failing that: cs4w+@andrew.cmu.edu | NeXTmail: chuck@mon.slip.andrew.cmu.edu | -- Opus, Bloom County [RIP] ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "(Ronald Reagan is) so dumb that if you put his brains in a bee, it would fly backwards." - Molly Ivins, Texan political columnist. ============================= rizzi@netcom.com ============================= ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Steve Keshen steve@weber.weber.com Weber Systems Steady hand, bloodshot eyes. Stoner Brookfield, WI 53005 or programmer. You make the call. -- Steve Keshen steve@weber.weber.com Weber Systems I took the road less traveled, and had to wait Brookfield, WI 53005 hours for help when my car broke down. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Tom Mandel mandel@netcom.com mandel@qm.sri.com [1] What my employer doesn't know, it can't have an opinion about. [2] I insulted the entire WELL and lived to tell about it. [3] Email to the above; flames to /dev/camille-paglia ---------------------------------------------------------------------- THIS IS NOT A SIG FILE * -We've satisfied our endless needs, THIS IS NOT A SIG FILE * And justified our bloody deeds, OK, SO IT'S A SIG FILE * In the name of Destiny, posted by west@wam.umd.edu * And in the Name of GOD- who doesn't care who knows it. * (Eagles," The Last Resort") DICLAIMER: I said this, I meant this, nobody made me do it, nobody cares. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- jamesp I regret to say that we of the F.B.I. are powerless to act @ in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way agora obstructed interstate commerce. rain.com -- J. Edgar Hoover -------------------------+---------------------------------------------------- "On the first day after Christmas my truelove served to me... Leftover Turkey! On the second day after Christmas my truelove served to me... Turkey Casserole that she made from Leftover Turkey. [days 3-4 deleted] ... Flaming Turkey Wings! ... -- Pizza Hut commercial (and M*tlu/A*gic bait) Ken Arromdee (arromdee@jyusenkyou.cs.jhu.edu, arromdee@jhunix.hcf.jhu.edu) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- ******************************************************************************* * * * This Space For Rent * * Call 1-800-FOR-RENT for details * * * * James Michael Sambrook, Aerospace AND Nuclear Engineer * * "Are you nuts?" "Nope, just insane!" * * * ******************************************************************************* ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "How am I typing? Call 1-818-354-7782" jack@robotics.jpl.nasa.gov Jack Morrison/Jet Propulsion Lab/MS107-102 4800 Oak Grove Dr, Pasadena CA 91109 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 22 IMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM; 2222222222222222 2222222222222222 : moosE-mail: : 22 22 22 2 2 2 1111111 2 2 2 22 22 22 : DAGT@SOFUS.DHHALDEN.NO : 1111i111i1111 : goose-mail: : 1111111 : Dag Thalberg, Talberg : 1111111 : N-1747 SKJEBERG, NORWAY : 01110 HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM; ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Stile, Howard Wilson II, and any other names I might use can be reached at: stile@okcforum.uoknor.edu | I have two personalities. One is paranoid, I speak for no one but myself! | and the other is out to get him. Send mail for information on The Darwinners and the Evolving Fish! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Sasquatch ================================================================== bigfoot@kauri.vuw.ac.nz Lunatic for Hire: Enquire within march_c@kosmos.wcc.govt.nz Ask not for whom the bell tolls: Campbell March@real.life the butler will get it. ==B=E===Q=U=I=C=K=.=.=.===O=R===B=E===D=E=A=D=.=.=.=============== ---------------------------------------------------------------------- It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it. -The Blues Brothers Joseph DeMasi jd4o@andrew.cmu.edu ---------------------------------------------------------------------- --E.V.L. (drwho@wpi.wpi.edu) # "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! NOT ANOTHER NEW a.k.a.: The Eternal Newbie, # MARSHMALLOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The Amazing Tubeman!, # --me, watching a "Lucky Charms" commercial Murphy's Law Incarnate # (I wonder how many people heard me scream...) Any similarities between what I say and what I mean are purely coincidental. Chip Salzenberg at Teltronics/TCT (chip@tct.com), (73717.366@compuserve.com) "you make me want to break the laws of time and space / you make me want to eat pork / you make me want to staple bagels to my face / and remove them with a pitchfork" -- Weird Al Yankovic, "You Make Me" --------------------------------------------------------------------- Chris Beauregard cpbeaure@napier.uwaterloo.ca Disclaimer: The above are the opinions of God as recited by my telepathic goldfish. Those who oppose them with be struck by lightning. Such an event will be reflected on their electrical bill. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Bryan Barber |"He's bread, Jim." - McCoy after a tragic transporter accident | while visiting planet Pillsbury. bbarber@sierra.com --------------------------------------------------------------------- scott barman | scott@asd.com | You can't get anything that you want, at Bill Gates' OS house. You can't get anything that you want, at Bill Gates' OS house. Just listen to Bill throw those lines, he sounds like a used car salesman wearing lime. You can't get anything that you want, at Bill Gates' OS house. (w/ apologies to Arlo Guthrie) --------------------------------------------------------------------- Tom Gillman, Systems Programmer | "AAAAAGGGGHHHH" Wells Computer Center | -- Any "Classic" Star Trek Security Georgia State University | officer sometime during the show syshtg@gsusgi2.gsu.edu | #include "std.disclaimer" --------------------------------------------------------------------- | O | | O | | | Hans C. Masing "We have seen pictures {of mars} where there | | | O | HCM100 @ PSUVM.psu.edu there are canals, we believe, and water. If | O | | | ISA President there is water, that means there is oxygen. | | | O | Penn State MIS Dept. If oxygen, that means we can breathe." | O | | | - Dan Quayle | | --------------------------------------------------------------------- William Jacobs | Someday we'll look back on all this Astronomy Dept., San Diego State and plow into a parked car. bjacobs@ucssun1.sdsu.edu --------------------------------------------------------------------- -- -- Craig Becker, Object Technology Products -- -- WE ARE BARNEY. Internet: jlpicard@austin.ibm.com -- -- YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. IBM TR: jlpicard@woofer.austin.ibm.com -- -- VNET: JLPICARD at AUSVM1 -- --------------------------------------------------------------------- /-----------------------------------------------------------------------------\ |Matthew Cline | Read in the "letters to the editor" column of "TIME" | | | in response to an article on teen suicide: "People | |mpcline@cats.ucsc.edu| should be aware of the dangers of killing themselves" | \-----------------------------------------------------------------------------/ --------------------------------------------------------------------- John D. Holder \ INTERNET: jholder@polaris.unm.edu BITNET: JHOLDER@UNMB.UNM.EDU ............."To know recursion, you must first know recursion"................ ................."Black holes are where God divided by zero"................... .....voice:(505)268-6023....PGP key available....US SnailMail: Why bother?..... --------------------------------------------------------------------- Mike Swaim |Whenever the soft drink machine needs to be swaim@owlnet.rice.edu |restocked, rather than getting angry, Disclamer: I lie |meditate on the impermanence of all things |and the emptiness of coke. --------------------------------------------------------------------- m.d.mills interviewer: what kind of guitars do you play? dept.of.computer.science stevie ray vaughan: they're wood. carnegie.mellon.university pittsburgh.pa.15213 --------------------------------------------------------------------- John M. Twilley | It's only premarital sex if nautilus@acm.rpi.edu | you're going to get married. twilley@dewey.nl.nuwc.navy.mil | --anonymous --------------------------------------------------------------------- - Scott Berger FA::SBERGER - - Manufacturing Systems Technology sberger@fa.intel.com - - Intel Corporation, Chandler, AZ sberger@sedona.intel.com - ----------------------------------------------------------------------- - Plaintiff Wile E. Coyote is a citizen of Arizona. Defendant Acme - - is a Delaware corporation whose products are sold by mail order in - - every state in the nation. Plaintiff seeks damages for injuries - - caused by defects in an extensive list of products purchased from - - Defendant for use in his profession of predator. - --------------------------------------------------------------------- JeffJ@yang.earlham.edu - Official generic .sig. Under 4 lines, under 80 columns, no Amiga checks, no witty quotes, no maps of Australia, no asterisks, no ASCII art, no disclaimers or anti-flame requests, and one spelling errer. --------------------------------------------------------------------- Virgilio "Dean" Velasco Jr, Department of Electrical Eng'g and Applied Physics CWRU graduate student, roboticist-in-training and Q wannabee "Bullwinkle, that man's intimidating a referee!" | My boss is a "Not very well. He doesn't look like one at all!" | Jewish carpenter. --------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Alan # Mountain Dew and doughnuts... ..!ames!elroy!alan # because breakfast is the most important meal alan@elroy.jpl.nasa.gov # of the day. --------------------------------------------------------------------- [********************************* Bob Igo ********************************] "Today's CS lecture will be conducted entirely through the medium of interpretive dance." --something I've always wanted to hear but never will [***************************** gryphon+@cmu.edu ***************************] --------------------------------------------------------------------- | Andrew Bulhak | | | acb@yoyo.cc.monash.edu.au | DIE Barney DIE, you fAt fnord pUrPle fuCk!| | Monash Uni, Clayton, | | | Victoria, Australia | | --------------------------------------------------------------------- Tony J. Podrasky|What's this thing? San Diego , Ca |It's called a MODEM. tonyp@convex.com|And what's this button for? WA2EAA NNNN ZCZC|Whatever you do, don't touc{{{7bh6xx!{@%%hxbd&$#)$% NO CARRIER --------------------------------------------------------------------- According to the World's Worst Comics #1, the reason why women always wear those skimpy costumes is: "Men can't shoot straight when they're having erections!" =SWETLFR= swetlfr@yang.earlham.edu Totally lost, but making great time! --------------------------------------------------------------------- John Switzer | Why am I depressed? | The local "easy listening" station CompuServe: 74076,1250 | considers the Stones "Can't Get Internet: jrs@netcom.com | No Satisfaction" to be easy listening. --------------------------------------------------------------------- --Nick Handel "If we knew what the hell we were doing, nhandel@sugar.NeoSoft.com it wouldn't be research..." --------------------------------------------------------------------- /\/\ : Ian Hoyle, Senior Research Scientist / / /\ : Geoscience & Spatial Systems Group / / / \ : BHP Research / / / /\ \ : 245 Wellington Rd, Mulgrave, 3170, AUSTRALIA \ \/ / / / : Phone +61-3-560-7066 \ / / / : E-mail ianh@resmel.bhp.com.au \/\/\/ : : "If the idea of a protocol behaving like a rabid, diseased sex-crased bunny rabbit appeals to you, AppleTalk is for you." -- John Kennedy, comp.dcom.sys.cisco --------------------------------------------------------------------- *dEwMe[------(((sdew@charlie.usd.edu*******#The University of South Dakota* *************or sdew@nyx.cs.du.edu*********#has no opinions I hold valid*** Yet another RAVEing lunatic!!!*************#so why would I speak for them?* @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ ***You may be thinking "Ooh how disgusting; fancy eating your own poo!"-*** ************************--Wonderful World Of Dung--************************ *************************************************************************** * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * --------------------------------------------------------------------- Lani Teshima-Miller (teshima@uhunix.uhcc.Hawaii.edu) o | /_/_/ "Sea Hare" Univ of Hawaii School of Library & Information Studies o|[0_0]--------* "It's no use going to school if the library is \=^-| |____| | not your final destination." --Ray Bradbury \_}B \_}B --------------------------------------------------------------------- If the Earth is the size of a pea in New York, then the Sun is a beachball 50m away, Pluto is 4km away, and the next nearest star is in Tokyo. Now shrink Pluto's orbit into a coffee cup; then our Milky Way Galaxy fills North America. Wayne Hayes INTERNET: wayne@csri.utoronto.ca CompuServe: 72401,3525 --------------------------------------------------------------------- *************************************** This is a pretty generic .sig, huh? Scott Chupack chupack@engin.umich.edu *************************************** --------------------------------------------------------------------- Tony J. Podrasky Laundry instructions on a shirt made by HEET: San Diego , Ca For best results, wash in cold water separately, hang tonyp@convex.com dry and iron with warm iron. For not so good results, QSL? QRU? QRZ? QLZ? drag behind car through puddles, blow-dry on roofrack. -------------------------------------------------------------------- | Guy Martin - [best] guymart@netcom.com - guy@f905.n202.z1.fidonet.org ____ | When asked what he thought of Western Civilization \ / | M. K. Gandhi replied, "I think it would be an excellent idea." \/ | Gay Pride. Don't Leave Home Without It... --------------------------------------------------------------------- Ingredients: chopped pork shoulder with ham, salt, water, sugar, sodium nitrate, snarflrd@leland.stanford.edu --------------------------------------------------------------------- -- Esther Lumsdon, not speaking for Verdix. esther@verdix.com "It's time to cut bait and talk turkey. It takes 2 snakes to cross a puddle. You have to bale hay while the tractor is warm." ---- either H. Ross Perot or Dave Barry --------------------------------------------------------------------- Michelle Murrain, Ph.D., School of Natural Science Hampshire College, Amherst, MA 01002 413-549-4600 x688 mmurrain@hamp.hampshire.edu "The Pledge of Alliegance says 'liberty and justice for all'. Which part of 'all' don't you understand?" - Rep. Pat Schroeder (D) Colo. --------------------------------------------------------------------- +++ note: about the next six: Roger was a pre-college kid and, +++ well, i suppose the locals didn't appreciate his sig file. --------------------------------------------------------------------- * Roger Tetzlaff,SHHS c/o '94 rt2c@andrew.cmu.edu-Proud Achievements * * Thrice appeared in "Who's Who among American High School Students" * * Gold medalist,1993 Ohio Science Olympiad Finals- Comp. Programming * * Selected for CMU Summer Pre-College Prgm*730 Math SAT*Peace to all * --------------------------------------------------------------------- * Stephen Gifford,ECE c/o '9? sg10@andrew.cmu.edu-Proud Achievements * * One or twice appeared in "Who's Who in CMU students turned staff." * * Runner up,1992 Pittsburgh Nosepicking Finals- Snotball competition * * Selected for Allegheny County Jury Duty*$20 Parking Ticket*Bite me * --------------------------------------------------------------------- -Mav, AKHS c/0 92 Maverick+@cmu.edu-Proud Achievements Three times(who the hell says thrice) appeared in "Who's Who among American High School Students" Captain Admiral King High School Academic Challenge team Selected to go to CMU For real(and really cheap) *1400 SAT composite (this means I can add.... and I have a vocabulary)*Have a nice day --------------------------------------------------------------------- * Shawn Knight, MCS c/o '96 knightster@cmu.edu - Stuff You Should Know * * secretly married, loves Sam's subs, practices black magick for sex favors * * Second Place Winner, Pittsburgh Spelling Bee grade 8 (screwed 'picry') * * 3rd in class, failing out here, chosen most bizarre in High School class * --------------------------------------------------------------------- * Jeffrey Woodford, MCS c/o '94 jw53@andrew.cmu.edu - Stuff You Should Know * * Got lost in Washington DC on 7th grade class trip * I suck at all sports * * Lived in L.A. during the 1984 Olympics but didn't go to any of the events * * 2nd in highschool class, my picture ID sorta makes me look like a psycho * * I want to go to grad school 'cause I can't think of anything better to do * --------------------------------------------------------------------- * Faisal Jawdat,H+SS c/o '96 fj05@andrew.cmu.edu - Random Achievements * * I went bowling a couple of times, and I'd really like to do it again * * Winner, free black and white mini tv, 7th grade magazine sales drive * * Selected last to play games in elementary school*128th in class* fiz * --------------------------------------------------------------------- (*************************************************************************) (** Chris Unger Kutztown University **) (** unge1845@acad.csv.kutztown.edu Computer Services **) (** grimhac@sanjuan.santafe.edu (215)-683-4152 **) (** **) (** Last night as I lay in bed looking at the stars I thought **) (** 'Where the hell is the ceiling?' **) (*************************************************************************) --------------------------------------------------------------------- None of the ideas expressed above are acutally mine. They are told to me by Luthor and Ferdinand, the five inch tall space aliens who live under my desk. In return for these ideas, I have given them persmision to eat any dust bunnies they may find under there. Peter Wieland pw1r+@andrew.cmu.edu dmonger+@cmu.edu ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Doug Sewell, Tech Support, Computer Center, Youngstown State University doug@cc.ysu.edu doug@ysub.bitnet (internet)!cc.ysu.edu!doug Q: Hey kids, here's a riddle. What has 4 legs and flies ? A: Barney the dinosaur as road kill. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- John Kochmar | Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human kochmar@sei.cmu.edu | brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250 SEI Computing Facilities | -Harper's Index, October 1989 ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- John Switzer | Final exam question: "Is the best part of waking | up really Folgers in your cup? Provide either a CompuServe: 74076,1250 | comprehensive proof of the above, or a definitive Internet: jrs@netcom.com | counter-example." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Di Francis Even evil people sometimes Ball State University get up in the middle of the night 01d0francis@bsuvc.bsu.edu to eat chocolate chip cookies. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Richard O. Rouse III ror1@kimbark.uchicago.edu "In Italy for thirty years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had bortherly love; they had five hundred years of democracy and peace, and what did they produce? The cukoo clock." - Orson Welles as Harry Lime in _The_Third_Man_ ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- gray@hawkmoon.mn.org This site gets a fair news feed, but e-mail is more reliable. . . :-( "Veni, vidi, vomiti!" - the ghost of Tom Jefferson on reading the Brady Bill ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Teddy Zartler@a.chem.upenn.edu Univ. of Pennsylvania (The Cool Ivy... According to Seventeen Magazine) Go to Grad School... Avoid Reality. This Message brought to you by Ellipsis Inc. "When your sentence trails off... we finish it." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- ** "Products such as 'I Can't Believe Its Not Butter' and 'I Can't ** ** Believe Its a Girdle' display the state of denial in this society." ** **