Merry Christmas, fuckers! And by Christmas, I mean the Great American Consumer Holiday, because material indulgence is WAY more important than helping your fellow man. I personally got the new George Carlin book, which is fantastic. So I'll give you a quote from it, to titillate your clitorises. This is how a news story about Easter *should* be read, if news were fair and balanced. Like Fox.

"Today is Good Friday, observed worldwide by Jesus buffs as the day on which the popular, bearded cultural figure, sometimes referred to as The Messiah, was allegedly crucified and -- according to legend -- died for mankind's so-called sins. Today kicks off a 'holy' weekend that culminates on Easter Sunday, when, it is widely believed, this dead 'savior' -- who also, by the way, claimed to be the son of a sky-dwelling, invisible being known as God -- mysteriously 'rose from the dead.'

"According to the legend, by volunteering to be killed and actually going through with it, Jesus saved every person who has ever lived -- and every person who ever will live -- from an eternity of suffering in a fiery region popularly known as hell, providing -- so the story goes -- that the person to be 'saved' firmly believes this rather fanciful tale."

Yeah, you love it. Bitch. Now go save the world, kill yourself and distribute the meat from your carcass to some starving pigeons in Ethiopia, because that's what PETA would do. The Christmas spirit lives deep within me! In my bowels, specifically.

Mmm, that's a delicious cock in my ass. Please, I'd like some more.

I've been up all night so far, and I'm raging like a hardon. I worked on that fucking Energy paper until 7, then crammed for AbPsych. The exam wasn't too hard, but I fucked up a few easy things because I didn't study them. It was alright, I guess. I hope I didn't get fucked too bad. Now I've gotta finish this paper, and then learn Opti in time to try desperately not to fail miserably. Fuck.

I'm tired. After the exam, I'm going to eat Steak n Shake, and then fall asleep. Or drink until I'm retarded. Either way is fine. And then I'll have all weekend to study Philosophy to try not to fail that too miserably. But I can't let myself do something stupid like "feel good" about an exam. That's a sure sentence of miserable failure. Please, oh gods of fucking me in the ass, don't let me get below a 3 this semester. Please?

Yeah, I'm not updating very much lately. I think I have good reason though. I had a huge paper due at the end of last week, and the end of the week before... and in two days I have another huge paper due and two finals. Whee. I'm fucked.

I don't know what the fuck my grades are going to be this semester, but it's not looking fantastic by any means. I'll probably (hopefully) get a B in Philosophy, hopefully not get below a C in Opti, most likely get a B in Psych, and most likely get a B in Energy. That's a 2.75 or so. That's god-awful. If I'm lucky, one of those will be just a bit higher and get me to around a 3.0... and if Jesus loves me, I'll get a 3.3 or higher. But I hate myself, so that's not a really good possibility.

I did just spend a great few days with my girlfriend. We did very little, tried to get work done, mostly just hung out together and with her friends. It was a nice break, and I managed to write two pages of my paper, so that's pretty good. Unfortunately, I still have several pages of the paper left to go, not to mention my Opti and Psych exams on Friday. Eugh.

I determined that if I get a 99 or 100 on the Psych final, I'll get an A in the class. Yeah. That's gonna happen. And if I get a perfect score on my Energy paper, I *might* squeeze out an A depending on the curve. And as for Opti... I don't even want to think about it. I'm just hoping that it's not below a C. I couldn't handle a D in Opti, and that'd make me miserable. I suppose of the skies opened up and poured fire and brimstone I could get a B, but whatever. And as for Philosophy, well... I think it's literally impossible for me to get above a B, and if I'm unlucky and fuck up the exam I could get a C. If something magical happens, I'll get an A... but magic is a dirty lie told by the government.

So yeah. Looking at another shitty GPA. If it's below a 3, I don't honestly know what I can do. Probably hang myself. Fuck.

Inimical Jesus: i'm not a huge fan of smiles anyway. laughs are much more satisfying
excaply: you're so weird.
Inimical Jesus: a smile feels like a facial tic, but a laugh is an involunatry body spasm, which seems less ... stupid.
excaply: but that comment just made me laugh.
Inimical Jesus: bwahaha
excaply: and i think that's funny.
Inimical Jesus: i don't even like the word smile
excaply: yeah, its hard to say.
Inimical Jesus: it feels drawn out, stretched, quivering...
excaply: ugly.
Inimical Jesus: artificial tension for an artificial expression
excaply: but i do like words with similar constructions... just replace the l with an r, and its neat.
excaply: fire.
excaply: dire.
excaply: mire.
excaply: desire
excaply: expire.
excaply: etc.
excaply: all great words.
Inimical Jesus: i agree
Inimical Jesus: although redneck pronunciation ruins them
Inimical Jesus: 'i'm gonna sit by the faaahrrrr'
Inimical Jesus: 'i feel desaaahr for you'
excaply: hahahaha
excaply: desaaahr???????
excaply: *continues laughing*
Inimical Jesus: like desire, but with a aaaughgrhtrrr
excaply: haha, yeah, i got that.
Inimical Jesus: 'come on baby light my faaaahr'
excaply: *laughs*
excaply: you're right, definitely ruinous... expiates all dignity.
Inimical Jesus: there's some sort of ridiculous irony when i make you laugh and that makes me smile
excaply: why did i just say expiate?
excaply: that's just not the word i was looking for at all.
Inimical Jesus: expatriate?
excaply: and why on earth is it ironic when you make me laugh?
Inimical Jesus: exponential?
Inimical Jesus: no no, it's ironic that i smiled
Inimical Jesus: when making you laugh
excaply: aHA.
Inimical Jesus: because i'm making fun of smiles
excaply: ERGO irony.
excaply: gotcha.
excaply: gotcha?
Inimical Jesus: it'd be hypocritical if i gave a shit, but since i don't, it's just confusing
excaply: what's with me and this whole, like, talking thing?
Inimical Jesus: hey, talking is rough
Inimical Jesus: men have died from excessive talking
excaply: o?
Inimical Jesus: i dunno about typing though
excaply: have they expaaaaaaahrd?
Inimical Jesus: but i suppose it's the same thing, minus asphyxiation
excaply: hahahahahaha, look at me go!
Inimical Jesus: lol
Inimical Jesus: bonnnnnggggg
Inimical Jesus: as jay would say in a self-congratulatory manner in a kevin smith movie
excaply: o, i know.
Inimical Jesus: i figured you did, but i was in the mood to destroy my reference with a pedantic explanation
excaply: those are movies i really admaaaaaaaahr.
excaply: *continues laughing*
Inimical Jesus: oh man
Inimical Jesus: you're on faaaaahr
excaply: i'm going to do this for as much as possible from now until forever and ever.
excaply: *laughs!*
excaply: well. damn.
excaply: i guess that's over. i can't really think of anything else.
excaply: i'm sure things will come up.]
Inimical Jesus: yeah. i'm spent.
excaply: are you taaaaaaaaaahrd?
Inimical Jesus: lol
excaply: hahahaha
Inimical Jesus: oh man
excaply: really can't stop laughing right now.
Inimical Jesus: laughter is the best medicine. except for antibiotics. or cough medicine.
Inimical Jesus: of course, that may not be true. i could be a ...
Inimical Jesus: laaaahr.
excaply: hahaha
excaply: look at us go.
excaply: must be--
excaply: inspaaaaaaahrd.
Inimical Jesus: hahaha, oh man
excaply: (yeah, kinda pushing)
Inimical Jesus: i actually laughed out loud
excaply: this is hilarious.
excaply: my life is complete.
excaply: or, you could say with worse syntax, entaaahr.
Inimical Jesus: lol, that was awful
excaply: it was!
excaply: it just was.
Inimical Jesus: list of things to do before death: make strange, vaguely confusing jokes about redneck pronunciation of ire. check!
excaply: *laughs*
excaply: done and done!
excaply: ok, i quit for now.
Inimical Jesus: yeah.
excaply: i'm temporarily retaaaaaaahrd.
Inimical Jesus: lol
excaply: *they just sound better with a d on the end*
Inimical Jesus: i suppose, yeah
excaply: so anyways.
excaply: where do you go from that?
Inimical Jesus: well, next on my list of things to do in life is to get completely drunk and attend some sort of official event
Inimical Jesus: you know, one that mandate formal... attaaaarh.
excaply: o, that was so planned.
Inimical Jesus: yeah, it was sad
Inimical Jesus: i think spontaneity is requaaarhd.
excaply: *laughs!*
Inimical Jesus: man. setting up jokes is a lot harder than comedians make it look.
excaply: this is true.
excaply: its never really been something about which i've inquaaaaarhd.
Inimical Jesus: that's why generally for my humor i just rely on not giving a shit about standards of publicly decent conversation
Inimical Jesus: lol
excaply: also helps w/ delivery if its at the end of the sentence, i think.
Inimical Jesus: oh, it's completely necessary
Inimical Jesus: otherwise the joke hits, but the necessary follow-up kills any chance at getting a laugh
excaply: damn. required would've worked better there.
Inimical Jesus: yeah, but that's repetition, it's not as good.
excaply: this is true.
Inimical Jesus: i can't believe we're now analyzing this
Inimical Jesus: and by the nature of my comment, are also engaged in meta-analysis.
excaply: like lawyers. they analyze things a lot, right?
excaply: amy hedges, esquaaahr!
Inimical Jesus: hahaha
excaply: i am unbelievably pleased with myself right now.
Inimical Jesus: but if you tried to carry a joke this far in a work environment, even donald trump would say "you're faaahrd"
excaply: hahahaha
Inimical Jesus: see, you throw in the pop culture reference, it adds to it, even if it's a bit of a stretch
excaply: no, it works.
excaply: god, i hate reality tv.
Inimical Jesus: indubitably
excaply: we're stuck in this, like, reality tv empaaaahr.
Inimical Jesus: oh man
Inimical Jesus: this is getting ridiculous
excaply: getting?
excaply: its been ridiculous for at the very least a good ten minutes.
Inimical Jesus: i mean, at the rate we're going, i could go as far as to talk about horse breeding, and some sort of magical steed and the horse it... saaaahrd.
excaply: i'm ok with that.
excaply: really, i'm quite pleased this conversation has transpaaaahrd.
Inimical Jesus: lol
Inimical Jesus: i can't believe it's still going. i mean, you'd expect that for a rolling dialogue like this, we must have previously conspaaahrd.
excaply: hahahaha
excaply: genius!
Inimical Jesus: i think the joke's getting old, though.
Inimical Jesus: it's about time it was... retaaahrd.
excaply: we've already used that one.
Inimical Jesus: fuck!
excaply: comedic value has been negated.
excaply: you lose.
excaply: haha, the score stands one to nothing, my favor.
Inimical Jesus: lol
excaply: yessssss.
excaply: to beat me, you'll need to score haaaaaaaahr.
Inimical Jesus: hahahaha
Inimical Jesus: i will not let you beat me, even if the circumstances are daaahr.
excaply: *laughs. a lot.*
excaply: shouldn't you be writing a paper?
Inimical Jesus: *shifty eyes*
Inimical Jesus: i'm writing a paper... in my MIND
Inimical Jesus: i have photographic zen buddhist memory skills, like a monk, or priest, or fraaahr.
excaply: hahahahaha
excaply: how? how can we do this?
excaply: sell-out. clearly you're just a rhyming dictionary baaaaahr.
Inimical Jesus: haha, dammit
Inimical Jesus: i was gonna try to use that
Inimical Jesus: you know your skills are inadequate! in medieval times, i'd be a knight, but you'd just be a squaaahr.
excaply: o, bs. beating me is harder than pulling teeth. even with plaaaahrs.
Inimical Jesus: i feel like this is the suburban culture version of a rap throwdown. like we're in 8 mile. except our miles are frequent flaaahr.
excaply: hahahahaha
excaply: maybe you're right.
excaply: i'm running out.
Inimical Jesus: yeah, i'm feeling pretty cashed
excaply: your greatness is something to which i aspaaaahr.
Inimical Jesus: haha
Inimical Jesus: i think we used that already
Inimical Jesus: but it's still funny
excaply: no we didn't.
excaply: seriously.
Inimical Jesus: i believe you
excaply: i hope you don't mind if this ends up on the website.
excaply: clearly its going to have to.
Inimical Jesus: dammit, i want it for MY web site
excaply: that's fine with me.
Inimical Jesus: maybe we can both use it
excaply: ok.
excaply: well.
excaply: we still haven't used mire.
Inimical Jesus: well, it's like when you're going through a swamp, surrounded by the maaahr.
Inimical Jesus: and then you trip on a branch, fall into a bush, and get stuck with a braaahr.
Inimical Jesus: it sucks.
excaply: hahaha, double whammy!
Inimical Jesus: it's like 'lame obvious joke... BAM with a quick follow up'
excaply: but that doesn't really make any sense in this context.
excaply: but if you think it truly does, that's fine.
Inimical Jesus: context is entirely irrelevant at that point. which is what i told that hooker when she wanted me to whip her with the rope but i decided i wanted to taaahr.
excaply: i think you're a capable verifaaaahr.
excaply: that's not going on the website, probably.
excaply: but you should put it on yours.
Inimical Jesus: lol, oh, i will
Inimical Jesus: i have no shame, after all
excaply: this is true.
Inimical Jesus: i'm totally blatant. you seem a little shaahr.
excaply: *laughs!*
excaply: that was beautiful.
Inimical Jesus: yeah, well, what can i say.
Inimical Jesus: it's a gift.
Inimical Jesus: like free shoes hung over telephone waaahr.
excaply: man, i'm so sleepy.
Inimical Jesus: you should go to sleep. you're probably... er... fatigued.
excaply: i need something with caffine.
excaply: like coffee...
Inimical Jesus: coca-cola always serves me well
excaply: but maybe something a bit chaaaaahr.
Inimical Jesus: lol
Inimical Jesus: that was a huge stretch
excaply: nah.
Inimical Jesus: chai-er? come on now
excaply: shut up, mr. saaaaaaahr!
Inimical Jesus: lol, now i'm just confused
excaply: do you feel disoriented?
excaply: sometimes that's caused by vertigo.
excaply: for instance, if you were walking on a waaaaahr.
Inimical Jesus: amy hedges, with the setup...
Inimical Jesus: i don't get vertigo until i get a little haahr.
excaply: no! we already used that one!
Inimical Jesus: well i just used wire like five ims ago
excaply: what? no you didn't.
Inimical Jesus: free shoes over a telephone waaaahr? i totally did.
excaply: o, crap.
excaply: you did.
Inimical Jesus: i just pwn3d j00!
excaply: don't do that.
Inimical Jesus: ju5t b3c4u53 y0u'r3 n0t 1337 l1k3 m3 15 n0 r34s0n t0 b3 j34l0us.
excaply: well.
excaply: i guess that's my cue.
excaply: its paper time, i think.
Inimical Jesus: don't disregard something because you're not used to it. you shouldn't be a hater, you should be a traaaahr.
Inimical Jesus: yeah. i suppose.
excaply: *laughs*
excaply: one last shot, eh?
Inimical Jesus: aye
excaply: well. you're consistent at least.
Inimical Jesus: to the internet with this conversation!
excaply: i'll bet people could count on you.
excaply: you would make a good town craaaaaaaahr.
Inimical Jesus: hahaha
Inimical Jesus: well, i'll look for a good town, and hopefully i'll get haaaahrd
excaply: o NO! i just completely set you up for that!
Inimical Jesus: yeah, you built your own funeral paaaaahr.
excaply: those both count for me, not you.
Inimical Jesus: lol
Inimical Jesus: you know those were mine. don't be a denaaaahr.
excaply: you lie! that makes me angry.
excaply: you could even say,
excaply: it fills me with....
excaply: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhrrrr
Inimical Jesus: lol
Inimical Jesus: oh man
Inimical Jesus: i don't think i have anything left
Inimical Jesus: i concede your victory
excaply: yeah, i don't really see how either of us could keep going.
excaply: either. isnt' that such a tease?
excaply: but, if you're going to countrify that, its no longer a long i sound. its eeeeeeeeether.
Inimical Jesus: well, if you pronounce it weird, i guess.
Inimical Jesus: yeah
excaply: *sighs*
excaply: this game has made me a saaaaaaaahr.
Inimical Jesus: hahaha
excaply: ok. that's it.
excaply: i quit.
excaply: no more.
Inimical Jesus: yeah
Inimical Jesus: we got a good forty-five minutes out of it though
excaply: holy crap.
Inimical Jesus: i can't possibly do any more. i'm just out of rhymes.
Inimical Jesus: if this were life or death, i'd be a daaaahr.
excaply: well. in other news my car needs new taaaaaaahrs.
excaply: (we used the verb, but never the noun!)
Inimical Jesus: lol, okay, you can have that one
Inimical Jesus: nouns and verbs are weird. i mean, if 'to spy' is a verb, why is the noun form also 'spy'? shouldn't it be... spaaaaahr?
excaply: *laughs*
excaply: you amaze me.
excaply: but its time.
Inimical Jesus: yeah. you ought to get *some* sleep. and i ought to write *some* paper.
excaply: i mean, it should've happened much sooner.
excaply: the resolution to this game should've been naaaaaaahr.
Inimical Jesus: nire?
excaply: nigh-er.
excaply: shutu p.
Inimical Jesus: haha
Inimical Jesus: yeah, i was about to go there
Inimical Jesus: i mean, that last point was yours, but this one will be mine. not just mine - maaaahr.
excaply: what?
Inimical Jesus: my-er.
excaply: no, there's a consonant in the way.
excaply: o, i thought you meant mine-er.
excaply: hehe. that's just silly.
excaply: we're so stupid.
Inimical Jesus: i'm making the comparative of my! making up words is an american thing to do, like baking cakes, or maybe something a little... paaaahr.
excaply: hahahaha
excaply: if you can do pie-er, i can definitely have chai-er.
Inimical Jesus: well, right!
excaply: pie-er??
Inimical Jesus: yeah, yeah, i know
excaply: haha, ok, really no more.
Inimical Jesus: what's blue and stands on my porch?
excaply: i hav no idea.
excaply: *ave
excaply: **have
Inimical Jesus: my sheep, and she'll be whatever color i decide to daaaahr.
excaply: hahaha
excaply: i can't even believe...
excaply: hahaha
Inimical Jesus: oh man
excaply: we've been doing this for almost an hour.
Inimical Jesus: but if she's an evil sheep, i might have to vilifaaaaahr.
excaply: i can't.
excaply: i can't anymore.
Inimical Jesus: i know
excaply: *laughs*
excaply: all this laughing has made my throat dry.
excaply: i need water.
Inimical Jesus: lol
Inimical Jesus: you should get water
excaply: or a humidifaaaaaahr.
Inimical Jesus: hahahahahahahaha
excaply: *laughs*
excaply: i think that's my best yet.
Inimical Jesus: that was fantastic, i'll admit
excaply: i should probably go out on a high note.
Inimical Jesus: although the hooker with the rope was good... though i didn't want to be scary, i think i sounded like a terrifaaaahr.
Inimical Jesus: yeah. i should smoke a cigarette.
excaply: hehe.
excaply: ok.
excaply: fun times.
Inimical Jesus: oh man
Inimical Jesus: hi-larious.
excaply: truly.
excaply: this is definitely going in the journal section.
excaply: probably tonight.
Inimical Jesus: sporadic!
excaply: hehe, ok.
excaply: good night.
excaply: for real.
Inimical Jesus: lol, alright
Inimical Jesus: good night

Wow, I haven't updated in fucking forever. Of course, I'm not bothering to link to this in my profile right now, so it's kind of irrelevant as most people I know won't see it. That's okay though. I mean, fuck I can do about it.

So, since mid-November, I went home for Thanksgiving. That was a pretty good time - my cousin came with me, so I tried to show her a good time with my friends, but overall it was all pretty lame. Lame in a good day, of course. But lame nonetheless. Then I came back, and it's been relatively stressful with the work due before finals and then, of course, finals coming up. I have my final Philosophy paper due on Friday, and then I don't have anything until a week from Friday when I have my final Energy paper due, my Abnormal Psych exam in the morning, and my Opti exam in the evening. Yeah. And then I don't have anything until my Philosophy exam on Tuesday, so I can get home on fucking Tuesday, December 21 and have four whole days to go Christmas shopping. Whee.

So basically, I've got this paper to fuck me this week, and then I've got all next week to try to prepare for a three-way gang bang on Friday, and then I'm pretty much cool except for one exam. I'm excited.

I do have my schedule worked out for next semester, for anyone who cares. Here it is, in its entirety. The days will be relatively long, but that's alright, hopefully. At least I don't have to try to get up too early, and I should be able to function for longer next time. I don't know what the fuck my grades are going to be this semester, but I'm estimating around a 3.0. Which sucks. Immensely. Because it's not nearly good enough to make up for my ass raping last semester. I could really use a 3.5, or even higher, but I have virtually no chance of getting one. Fuck.

Course Sect Course Title Units Day Begin End Bldg Room Instructor
70343 A INTRPERSNL COMMNCATN 9.0 MW 03:30PM 04:50PM TBD TBD HAJDUK
80235 A POLITCAL PHILOSOPHY 9.0 TR 01:30PM 02:50PM BH 150 VANDERSCHRAAF
82121 A ELEMENTARY GERMAN I 12.0 MTWF 11:30PM 12:20PM TBD TBD GREEN
85211 A COGNTV PSYCHOLOGY 9.0 MWF 02:30PM 03:20PM BH A51 YEUNG
88120 A REASN PASSN & COGNTN 9.0 TR 03:00PM 04:20PM BH 136A LERNER

Class:
M: 11:30-12:20, 2:30-3:20, 3:30-4:50
T: 11:30-12:20, 1:30-2:50, 3:00-4:20
w: 11:30-12:20, 2:30-3:20, 3:30-4:50
R: 1:30-2:50, 3:00-4:20
F: 11:30-12:20, 2:30-3:20

Work:
M: Available: 12:30-2:20
T: Available: 4:30-6:00
W: Available: 12:30-2:20
R: Available 4:30-6:00
F: Available 12:30-2:30
Total: 11 hours/week

Total:
M: 11:30-5, T: 11:30-6, W: 11:30-5, R 1:30-6, F 11:30-3:20