As a little girl, I have always had this vision of me setting in front of an easel in a street in Paris, where I was drawing those old buildings that had beautiful pink flowers on them. That was my all time dream, which I was forced to leave behind for the sake of making my father proud. After all, I am that kid who grows up wanting to make her parents proud no matter what it takes, because they gave me all I want, and so I see my success in life as a gift to them.
When I look back at my life, I was that smart girl in class, who knows the answers to almost every question when it comes to school subjects, but when it comes to real life she would always stumble on what she really wants. However, that does not mean that I have no values or priorities. No one can grow up without realizing things about themselves in different stages of their life. I would say I started realizing who I was in my high school senior year. For a start, my grades were not as good as they used to be, because I slacked off for a whole semester. Then, after getting slapped in the face by the grades I got, I started working hard, and would not let a day pass without me studying hard in it. This just proved to me that when I want something done, I would get it done no matter how hard it is. Along with the fact that I am a perfectionist, I can never do something without putting all my effort in it. To me, it is either doing your work right, or not doing it at all is better, which was the problem behind me slacking off at the beginning of the school year. Then came this huge event that made me realize a lot about myself. It happened at the beginning of my senior year. We had to compete in a program called “Albairaq (I am a Researcher)” which was held by Qatar University. We were a group of three, me and two of my best friends; who slacked off, and made me triple my hard work. That, along with the constant criticism of our work by the instructors, or should I say the constant criticism of the work I did. Those two weeks were for sure the worst in my whole life, but it is always experiences like these that make you realize what kind of a person you are. Moving on to the good part, which was when we had to show our projects to the judges. I had no idea that we could win this thing, especially with all those destructive comments I received about my work and the slacking off by my teammates; but it was the moment when they announced the winner that what made me realize a lot of things. From fifteen groups, our group made it to the first place. I can never describe how proud I was of myself, and how happy I was at that moment. I like to call this event as my fairytale, because it taught me a lot. First was that when I do something and put all my effort in it, I should believe that it would get me the result I want. Another thing is that I should never care for those who try to bring me down. I also learned that I find real difficulties in working with others, especially when it comes to working with people who expect you to do all the work.
That event did not only make me realize things about myself, but about how much I do not want to be in Qatar University. Although all of my friends wanted to be there, I wanted to be different and do something different. Plus that my father was so sure that I would get into one of Education City’s universities. As I said earlier I was forced to leave my creative side aside, so I did not apply to Virginia Commonwealth University Qatar but to Carnegie Mellon University Qatar, which had a major that my father said that I would be good at. This major was Information Systems; the name is all I knew about it, along with the fact that it would get me a good job in the future. I am not a person who calls a good job a good job because of how much it pays, rather I want to be in a job where I can make a difference and change at least one person’s life to the better. You can say that it is my life goal to do so. Nonetheless, I believe that being in a job that helps me impact others would make me happy, so I might as well say that it is kind of a career goal. I think at this time of my life it is still hard for me to decide what I really want to be in the future, but I do know that by the end of my career, I would want to be my own boss, have my own corporation and most importantly my job must impact others in a good way. I am not sure what to call such a job, but I know I am going to work hard to get there. Starting with baby steps, such as getting good grades, volunteering in anything that would help others, and joining clubs that might benefit me in a way. As someone who wants to start her own corporation one day, I am thinking of even starting my own club in Carnegie Mellon, if I could. As I said I am starting with baby steps, and as a freshman, everyone has told me that it is better to get your feet wet before jumping into things. Therefore, I am sticking with the courses I am taking and hoping to get the grades I am aiming for by the end of the year. Later on, I would start shaping a future that may include my creative side. And by doing so I can have the life I want and more importantly make my father proud and even everyone around me.
Actually I am positive about that, and I have recently learned that there is such a thing in information systems called online information design, and I am thinking of learning more about it, but again, I am taking baby steps only and I do not want to rush into anything before I know exactly what I want and need. I am sure that after those baby steps I am going to take, things will be much more clear to me about what I want to do in my future, and I am really hoping that one day I will be able to combine my creative side with anything that is related to Information Systems.