Hi. I'm David Edelstein, a student at a prestigious university in the US. Any more information could allow them to find me. And that would be very bad, not just for me, but for the whole world. I am working on organizing a... business-related event here, and things must go as planned. Here is a mailing address. It's not my main one, or even a real one, apparently, but if you are very persistent, and keep sending an email to it, I will know, and if you are worthy, you will hear back. Though perhaps not by email. Perhaps by a classified in a local newspaper. Perhaps by patterns in the clouds. Perhaps by a dream. Perhaps by a nightmare.
This is a photo of a person with the same last name, though he pronounces his differently.
Here is a half-fictitious list of my extracurriculars. The other half is fictitious too.