Jonah

I was not about to wait around until after something bad had happened. I ran for cover inside the food mart, and that's when I heard the gunfire. I hit the deck. Next thing I knew, that guy was gone, and Ryan was on the ground.\n[[Run to Ryan.]]\n[[Call 911.]]

Time ceased to exist. I ran over to Ryan. He was our starting quarterback, but in that moment he would have envied a child's athleticism. He finally made [[the news]]... Damn, sorry. His last words were "I'm gonna be ok." I started chain smoking.\n[[....]]

I literally did nothing. What the fuck was I supposed to do? I could have done anything, but I did nothing. I'm still haunted by it. I think I blacked out. The next thing I knew, Ryan was on the ground.\n[[Run to Ryan.]]\n[[Call 911.]]

Ryan was a good guy. In all honesty he was probably better than I could have hoped to become, and that's why I loved him. Every Wednesday after football practice he would invite me over to dinner, and we would feast and talk about the funniest locker room moments that week. We would play music and Call of Duty sometimes, and it was legit. I was on my way there I ran into a friend of mine, and he offered me a <html><a href = "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=94QVyAi4yWE"target="_blank">cigarette</a></html>.\n[[It would be rude to refuse]] \n[[No, thanks]]

And honestly, it wasn't at the time. How could I have known that all this was gonna go down? It's hard to believe when you had it like Ryan and me that [[shit just happens]]. It rains on everyone all the same. Tragedy is randomly distributed to all of us, you can't help it.\n\nWhat? Oh yeah, sorry. So I spent the night at Ryan's on October 3, and the next morning I drove him to school. His car had broken down earlier that week. We stopped at the Quickee Mart near his house to get some gas, and ... and that's when it got bad. I saw a car pulling up to the pumps, but it wasn't slowing down.\n[[I pushed Ryan down]]\n[[I ran inside.]]\n[[I just stood there.]]

Things got worse, and I started going to [[places on the internet that I had never explored before]] in order to see what I should do.

I don't even remember doing this, but once I saw the look on that guy's face I tackled Ryan. Everything happened so fast. The next thing I remember was a lot of noise, and then I couldn't hear anything. It felt like a fucking year. Eventually that guy drove off, and at some point after that I noticed the blood on my pants.\n\nI have never made [[the news]] before or since, but we became mere statistics pretty soon after that.\n\n...\n\nAfter I got surgery on my leg, my mom suggested that I get a concealed handgun license.\n[[I liked the idea]]\n[[I thought political activism was a more prudent solution]]

After going through an experience like that, I knew that I had to speak up. For me it started with commenting on [[silly hypothetical forums]], and it went from there to starting a gun violence awareness group at my school.\n\nRyan wasn't so quick to bounce back. He didn't seem like himself, and time as it turns out was not healing all wounds.\n[[I sought help]]

<html>\n<img src = "images/coma.png">\n</html>\n[[I thought a lot about life]]

<html>\n<img src = "images/suicide.png">\n</html>\n\n[[You speak the truth]]

I was wrong. That was the worst decision I ever made, and even into the afterlife do I regret it.\n\nWhat brings you to Hades?\n[[credits]]

Ryan needed help. I did the only thing I could - I screamed my heart out at the emergency response operator. She kept me on the line until the ambulance got there, I guess to make sure that I didn't do anything crazy. They put him on a stretcher and got him out of there, leaving me there with the bloodstained concrete.\n[[I waited]]

<html>\n<img src = "images/suicide.png">\n</html>\n\n[[I confronted Ryan about my concerns]]\n[[I knew Ryan would be fine without me invading his personal space]]

My life's story was dragging on. That's why I committed suicide.\n\nWhat about you, what brings you to Hades?\n[[credits]]

I visited the hospital where Ryan was staying. He didn't look good, but I kept coming back. My grades started to drop, but in the grand scheme of things it didn't really matter.\n[[I just needed Ryan to wake up]]

Based on a Google search

<html>\n<img src = "images/ptsd.png">\n</html>\n\n[[I couldn't have known]]

<html>\n<img src = "images/grief.png">\n</html>\n[[My mom told me to get a concealed handgun license]]

<html>\n<img src = "images/suicide.png">\n</html>\n\n[[I confronted Ryan about my concerns]]\n[[I knew Ryan would be fine without me invading his personal space]]

It seemed pretty counter-intuitive to me to be waking up at 6 every morning only to risk the season on something that stupid. If only I could have known then what was going to bring us here today. Not that there's any way you can predict these things, [[shit just happens]].\n\nWhat? Oh yeah, sorry. So I spent the night at Ryan's on October 3, and the next morning I drove him to school. His car had broken down earlier that week. We stopped at the Quickee Mart near his house to get some gas, and ... and that's when it got bad. I saw a car pulling up to the pumps, but it wasn't slowing down.\n[[I pushed Ryan down]]\n[[I ran inside]]\n[[I just stood there]]

<html>\n<img src = "images/sayNo.png">\n</html>\n\n[[It was football season for Christ's sake]]

Story: Andy Biar\nGoogle searches: www.google.com\nSpecial thanks to Urban Dictionary and amazon.com\n\n<html>\n<a href = "https://www.google.com/search?q=gun+violence+ptsd&sugexp=chrome,mod=2&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#hl=en&sugexp=les%3Bcqn%2Crate_low%3D0.030%2Crate_high%3D0.030%2Cmin_length%3D2%2Ccconf%3D1.0%2Csecond_pass%3Dfalse%2Cnum_suggestions%3D1%2Cignore_bad_origquery%3Dtrue&gs_nf=1&gs_mss=symptoms%20of%20post%20traumatic%20stress%20disorder%20g&tok=USgcn1jbXexHiusrAzb5fQ&pq=symptoms%20of%20post%20traumatic%20stress%20disorder%20gun%20violence&cp=14&gs_id=84&xhr=t&q=teen+suicide+hotline&pf=p&safe=off&sclient=psy-ab&oq=teen+suicide+h&gs_l=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.&fp=dc3856d8d691a444&biw=1920&bih=912"> Follow-Up Materials </a>\n</html>

They helped in some ways. After Ryan died, they were all I had.\n[[....]]

But I've answered your question. That was the only time in my life in which I had some serious suicidal tendencies.\n\nWhat brings you to Hades?\n[[credits]]

<html>\n<img src = "images/selfHelp.png">\n</html>\n\n[[I didn't know where to start]]

<html>\n<img src = "images/teenSmoking.png">\n</html>\n\n[[It wasn't a big deal]]

He didn't look good, but I kept coming back. My grades started to drop, but in the grand scheme of things it didn't really matter.\n[[I just needed Ryan to wake up]]\n[[I started taking antidepressents]]

<html>\n<img src = "images/selfMed.png"\n</html>\n[[My mom told me to get a concealed handgun license]]

I got my license, and I started going to the range once a week. It didn't make things any easier, but at least it got my mind off things sometimes.\n\nOther times, I would stay up at night just looking at it. I would sit across from it and just watch it look back at me through the barrel.\n[[This story is too long]]\n[[Life goes on, so do stories]]

He confessed to me his suicidal ideation, and we really bonded closer than brothers that night...\n\nAnd that was the time that I saved my friend's life twice. Now how did <html><i>you</i></html> gain entrance into the Elysian fields?\n[[credits]]

<html>\n<img src = "images/suicide.png">\n</html>\n\n[[You're right]]

Time kept passing, and everyone started to lose hope. Visitors came less often. I had to buy my own food again. I felt like watching a live grenade at my feet would have been less stressful than watching this. \n\nFinally the day came.\n[[...]]

I got my license, and I started going to the range once a week. I invited Ryan to go with me, but he really didn't seem like himself. I think the idea that I wanted to defend myself even put him off a bit. In hinsight I should have been more worried about him, but I didn't know [[what to look for]].